Remembering Mitch in Onward Into Etc.!

  • Aug. 25, 2023, 8:50 a.m.
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10 years ago a former coworker killed himself. I was reminded of this by the memorial site for him. It was a jarring reminder. It is also interesting that I try to keep the memory of Mitch alive in my mind. I will talk to him sometimes and try to imagine the funny eccentric things he would say. We all joked about him a bit but always ALWAYS in a good-natured caring way. He was in a very (to be polite and tactful here) difficult marriage which led him to put a gun to his chest and kill himself. That has always bothered me in that if you are going to kill yourself with a gun, go for the head. But maybe blasting his heart out was symbolic of his life at that time. I have fond often humorous and good memories of Mitch. I remember how my coworker Buddy would yell out his name to get him to the lunchroom for meetings. Or when some treat was served by office personnel. He was always a hard worker. A great team worker. When he got angry with me about some bullshit thing, it was easily forgivable. He made me laugh. He was a good comrade. A kind man with a very big heart. He is one of the few people I worked with that I CAN remember because of his goodness. He talked about stuff I had no interest in but his enthusiasm made me listen. Mitch was a man we all tried to help, to counsel, and encourage to leave a painful marriage. But instead of so much support from the Guys, he left it and life on his own terms. Or maybe not. Nobody will ever know the complete story there. I once wrote of a suspicion of his wife and she saw it on FB and threatened me. She did not love him. She cheated on him. He adored her. I believe it is good for us that knew Mitch, to remember him as that good often jovial guy he was. Such a good helpful man. He was the sort of man that was easy to like. I knew of no person who actively disliked him or was an enemy. It feels good to remember someone like Mitch. A good man and coworker. A far better man than so many would admit. I try to remember him for all the time I knew him and push away thoughts of his death and how he died. To celebrate him with good memories that are what he was to me in life, and so many years later, remembered.

Spirit Song August 25, 2023

So very sorry about your friend Mitch. I cannot imagine a circumstance so dire that death is the only available option.
I was working ER one night and they brought in a young man who had hanged himself in jail. 18 years old, and the rest of his life ahead of him. That image is still with me almost 50 years later.

Scott Spirit Song ⋅ August 25, 2023

Suicide is such a momentary thing. Thanks for your comment and I have been there with suicidal urges but still here

JustSurviveSomehow August 25, 2023

The anniversary of death is very painful. I have lost people suddenly, but never through suicide. Do you find that the older you get the easier it is (for lack of a better term) to accept/move on/get over? Or is it just the passing of time in general? Or neither? Just the type of personality someone has?

Scott JustSurviveSomehow ⋅ August 26, 2023

I think loss is easier to accept. We learn (or some of us do) to grieve and move on. Grief is often a selfish thing. It is about US and not the dead. The dead can not affect us nor we, them. Our missing them does. Their absence from our lives. That pleasure or pain. For example, when my dog died long ago, it was about ME. HIS ABSENCE. Missing the companionship and joy. The same will happen with my birds. Even if Buddy is a mean shit! I still love him. There is a woman on this site that constantly writes TO her dead boyfriend or whatever. Ok he is
dead and gone but she continues to wallow in pain. Ok kid, let it go. You cannot affect him now nor he, you. See? I am an atheist. No afterlife. It's all fantasy to me. It is nice to IMAGINE some things but just keep in mind it is imagining. People can believe what they want. Mental health and well being matters to me in self and others. Moving on. Living a positive loving life affirmative life matters. Thanks for your comments!

Desert Rose August 30, 2023

I've never known anyone who took their own life. I once tried to end my life and I'm glad that I failed.

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