Just a quick entry to let people know I’m still alive. More details can be found through the link I added to my profile, once again, since some people were asking for it.
For now, I’m gonna be trying Rhodiola Rosea which is said to help with mood and energy levels. My doctor consulted with their experts, and there have been some studies to suggest that this helps with that. I ordered a bottle in liquid form. All the reviews are good, but I can’t really say which ones may be fake.
Also, since even half a tablet of hydroxyzine knocks me out and makes me sleep forever, I now have 10 mg tablets. If I feel anxious later on, I’ll try one and hopefully, it won’t be too much. If the anxiety gets that bad, though, then I’d rather deal with being knocked out and drowsy the next day. Last night was better and so is tonight. So far anyway.
Almost forgot to write about the horrible dream I had. When I woke up one day in the dream, I knew I had been raped in my sleep by a 7-foot black guy, even though I never felt, saw, or had any awareness of it happening.
The next night, I was in a restaurant and everyone in the neighborhood was present, or at least most of the people. There were about 50 people in all, including my rapist. Everyone seemed to know everyone so maybe it was a community like this one.
I stood up and demanded everyone’s attention. The room quieted and all eyes turned to me. Somehow I knew that everyone knew what happened to me. I said, “For every man in this room who supports me and doesn’t feel I deserve what I got, raise your hand.”
To my disgust, not everyone raised their hand. I continued on nonetheless and said, “This is your chance to do the right thing and stop this guy from hurting me again in the future as well as other women.”
This is where the dream ended. So if anyone went to battle for me in my defense, I don’t know.
The only positive dream I remember was flying on this weird plane, although I’m not sure if it really was a plane. You had that sensation of picking up speed along the runway and gravity pushing you back into your seat and then floating when it lifted off of the ground. So I guess it was a plane. It was just Tom and I and the pilot on whatever it was we were flying in.
Last updated September 13, 2023