Tripping On Time Travel In Our Lives in Beginner Meditation
- March 10, 2023, 8:51 p.m.
I have been doing that most of my life. I think I am here but no, there I go off into my past.
Or imagining some fearful future that could be.
Instead of being HERE AND NOW.
The memories rise up and for so much of my life I have chased them. Or chased people in the past the ways I knew them. Often enlarging the negatives of the past or making something better than it ever was.
When I sit and breathe, I see that THIS is all that matters and all that time travel is just trying to walk in place with added rocks in a backpack of Mind I wear.
Leave it as I sit.
Leave it all the time.
Those imaginings and fantasies of a future that never will be exactly THAT - because all is impermanence and constantly changing and surprising us good or bad. So rarely the script we imagine it to be.
Leave that past because it does not matter. It is merely a weight we CHOOSE to carry. A weight that is not necessary to carry in this moment - or any other time.
Life and We and Others happened.
It’s over and done.
You loved you lost you win you lose you got hurt you healed. Skin cells lived and died and you grew every moment. We cannot hold onto those body cells of our past. Our musical and fashion tastes change. Our hair changes. Color, stays or falls out.
The same with our past and we waste so much of the present negatively emoting over the fictions we create of the future.
What would we all have been like if we did not carry that with us through life? How much more we could have lived and felt and done had we been able to NOT go around pining for or lamenting our pasts when…bro? You lived and learned now let that shit go.
The past rises like bubbles of vision that can talk and I give it a wan smile and say, “no I am done with you” and it fades not popping but fading out. I let it go. It goes. I feel a tiny bit of joy then focus on my next breath.
A voice of my own or some other speaks to me and treat it like I am on the phone and no I have no need to return your call. I am sitting here breathing. What a great vacation to simply feel something so simple and elemental not trashed by memory or imagination.
Sometimes what I think are brilliant thoughts come to mind and a part of me prone to temptation wants to stop rise and chase it and write it down. I do not. If it is so brilliant, IT will find me later in another NOW.
How incredibly miserable we make ourselves when we dine on memories of our past or the fictions too often negative or futures that never will be.
Take a breath and feast on your life in this moment.