"The train doors are closing..." in Things That I'm Grateful For

I don’t know how to explain what it’s like here. I live in an alternate reality. Which is both good and bad.

Nothing that happens over there matters.

Which means that negative things don’t affect me. That also means I don’t have “normal” responses to things that I should respond to.

My grandfather’s death was very sad. But I’m very disconnected to it. The financial problems my parents are facing in the wake of all this are sad, but I’m no longer a part of that drama. I am over here. I have my own drama, but it’s not life or death and I get through it just fine.

I have the time to get mad about little things now.

Like how slow everyone walks in Bangkok. Seriously, they all walk like an old white lady at a casino. She’s retired, she’s got nothing but time. The buffet is open 24 hours and her slot machine got taken anyway so she’s just moseying and looking for a new one.

Everyone walks at that pace here. No matter the age. No matter if it’s rush hour. Oh, the train is here and you’re two steps away from the top on the escalator? Oh no, don’t worry, there’ll be another train in 8 minutes.

I am not wired that way. I am still an American. Aside from that I’m gay, 198 cm and I’ve got places to be so get the fuck out the way. I am constantly singing Ludacris in my head…

Thai people have absolutely no sense of urgency. This is why there are so many disasters that happen here. Fires, chemical explosions, floods. I know exactly why all those things happen. They are in no rush to fix a problem. Seriously, I remember being at the club and seeing these wires all dangling everywhere and thought to myself, “Hmm, that’s a fire hazard” and I told one of the security people and he just shrugged. A month later that club caught fire and a third of it burned down.

It flooded like crazy yesterday. It had flooded a month ago and they determined it was because the city of Bangkok didn’t have quick enough trash removal (they just throw bags on the sidewalk here for the garbage trucks to pick up) so all that refuse clogged up the storm drains. Did they learn from that and prevent yesterday’s flood? Nope.

So either I will learn Buddhist acceptance… or I will continue my American-Judeo-Christian mania and my head will explode.

Whatever, at least I get my dick sucked regularly.

Last updated October 04, 2022