Today some things were inadvertantly said by someone, out in the hall, that could very well be misconstrued, in that if anyone overheard what this person said, others (staff and / or tenants), may have thought they were talking about me. The things that were said, I would never want anyone to think were about me. It could be potentially humiliating.
If anything gets back to me, or if people mistake what was said as being about me, let them think it. If they want to believe things w/o confronting me, so be it. I have to be very general, because the person whom said these things was well- intentioned in that it was not about myself. That is all I know to say on that subject.
Great news! The financial aspect of my qualifying for the waiver program, has gone through w/o a hitch. Next month will be the medical assessment. If there are any cancellations, they may bump up my appointment to an earlier date, which would be good. The sooner the better. If I get on this program, a lot of my worries will hopefully be alleviated.
Tomorrow morning, I go for my vitamin B12 injection. Motivecare is transporting me.
Next Monday, I see the neurologist. Tuesday, I have a video chat w/ my therapist. That same day, I have a group therapy, via a zoom meeting. The morning after that, I have a telemedicine appointment w/ the nurse practitioner whom will be writing the scripts for my psychiatric medications. In the midst of all of this, the building is having pizza and cake, at 5pm, in the community room, on the 26th. I do not know if I will be able to make the social. If I do, it will have to be quick.
I may go to bingo on Friday. Perhaps if I go often, I will feel more at ease. I will get used to being down there. Maybe I will bake some cookies to take down there.
Yesterday afternoon, another tenant knocked on my door. I answered it. They wanted a pack of cigars. They gave me $1.00 for the pack of cigars. I have to wonder if they were really for himself, because later on, I went outside. His wife was smoking cigarets from a pack of Marlboros. The tenant gave me a story about being broke. It does not add up. I am not a grocery store. I am getting tired of people milking me for this or that. That is it for the rest of the month. I need to look out for myself, because when I need something, no one will help me.
I think that I am staying in for the rest of the day. I was outside, this morning. I went down to the gazebo with my travel mug of grape juice, and my smokes. No one was down there. It was a bleak feeling. I think that I will go back to sitting on the upper benches. I sometimes find someone to talk to up there, in the mornings.
Yesterday, in the afternoon, I went down to the gazebo. The usual “group” of women were down there. I said hello to everyone. I received no response. The one tenant whom works at a grocery store did talk to me. Pretty soon, the others got up and left. I try to understand the dynamics of the whole thing, but perhaps I should not even worry about it, and simply go on with my own business. That is really the best thing to do.
My life, in general is far from easy, what with having no female friends. Then there is the technological world that we live in. Sometimes it can be daunting. My sister gave me my laptop computer. As it will be for other people, after a certain date, if your pc is not compatable with Windows 11, you will have to get a new computer. For myself, that means that if I have to once again make computer payments, then I will have to delete my cable and maybe even my landline. I cannot afford it all. Something will have to go.
Worry, worry, worry.....until next time.