What's an appropriate 26 Year anniversary gift? in The Big, Blue House, year one.

  • Aug. 5, 2022, 1:02 p.m.
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On a limited budget, (say $200 or less), for a man who neither needs nor wants anything?

I have some time, October 26th is the day.

I generally get him rings, gargoyles, and steaks. That and Roman memorabilia are all he likes, to my knowledge. Last year was our 25th, so I tried to get something symbolic, and bought him a deer skull with an ornate pentagram carved into it. We met at The Real Witches’ Ball in Columbus in 1996, so witchy stuff is appropriate. He got me a nice sterling necklace, with a raven holding a little pentacle.

The longer we live, the more years we accumulate, the more important the anniversary seems to become. I always want to do something “special”, but with limited funds, and a partner who seems to genuinely enjoy very little, it’s tough.

I can barely cook, thanks to parents who thought I was too incompetent to bother teaching. They thought I’d just hurt myself. So everything I know about food preparation I’ve learned from my ex-husband, and my old job in a kitchen. So making him a nice meal is out.

He doesn’t enjoy going out, and neither do I. We have a nice house. It’s quiet. A big TV. All of our food delivered. So going out to a movie or a restaurant would just be stressful and less fun than staying home.

Yet the idea of giving him yet another mediocre gift seems somehow underwhelming.

He generally buys me something the same value and theme as whatever I get him. I have to tell him vaguely what my plans are, to keep it fair.

I could get a bunch of led candles and a couple fake potted trees and make a picnic in the presently unoccupied master bedroom? Maybe some beer, and order Doordash? Put a blanket on the floor, and try to be humorous about it? Well it would be different at least, right? Maybe a star projector for the ceiling. Or maybe that’s just the autistic tendency to act like I’m twelve, and it’s a terrible idea.

We have a projector. I could aim it at a wall with some corny message celebrating how long we’ve tolerated each other. There’s a 26” old crt TV in there, I could get his favorite movies.

Thanks, internet void. Yelling into the abyss has been helpful. Wish me luck.


Scott 7 days ago

Blow job?
Wiccan wild sex?
Beer?????
Damn I am thinking like a man here...

Asenath Waite Scott ⋅ 7 days ago

All of the above, most likely. I mean he's a guy. Ultimately the centerpiece of any celebration has to be the sex.

Scott Asenath Waite ⋅ 7 days ago

I am happy for you and him that you have been together so long. It is a beautiful thing to me.

Firebabe 7 days ago

Heya, random passer-by here. How about something sentimental? For example, I had a long-term boyfriend (back in the day) and for our five-year anniversary, I got an ice cream spoon from the restaurant where we went on our first date (we ordered this ginormous ice cream sundae, but the waitress only gave us one spoon for some reason, and we had to feed each other, it got kind of hilarious) and I had the spoon engraved with our anniversary date, and the name of the restaurant. It was probably $30 all in. So maybe something like that? Good luck! (and happy anniversary!)

Asenath Waite Firebabe ⋅ 3 days ago

That's sweet! I put some thought into it, and I think the closest I could do would be to order Wendy's. lol

Our first 'date' wasn't really a date. We sort of got stuck together in what was supposed to be a carpool to a party.

I appreciate it though. :)

Asenath Waite Firebabe ⋅ 3 days ago

That's sweet! I put some thought into it, and I think the closest I could do would be to order Wendy's. lol

Our first 'date' wasn't really a date. We sort of got stuck together in what was supposed to be a carpool to a party.

I appreciate it though. :)

Mr. Mofo 6 days ago

Fresh cawfee and hot apple pie.

Asenath Waite Mr. Mofo ⋅ 3 days ago

Is that a metaphor? Of course there will be intimacy, if that's what you mean.

If you mean literal coffee and pie, he doesn't drink coffee. He likes semi-raw beef, and beer. I'll do my best.

Mr. Mofo Asenath Waite ⋅ 3 days ago

I'm too much of a mook for makin up metaphors, I'm totes literal. When I do try to come up with metaphors, people instantly know.

Dante 5 days ago

maybe buy some movies and make a night of it that would make me happy and i'm a guy who doesn't much care for gift it's the thought that counts in the end.

Asenath Waite Dante ⋅ 3 days ago

That's pretty much the plan. I'm going to hang the projector screen at one end of the room, and set up a gazebo-thing at the other end.

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