My second video session with a therapist today. I am learning her cues for when I have been talking and going off-topic. Focusing now. Last week a good perception of hers that I am still grieving the factory closing. There are many forms of grief. She questioned me about some things. Rate the questions. Some I explained and it was dredging up bad memories. I did tell her of a good memory. I cut a piece of hemlock wood today and my house smelled of hemlock. It brought back joyful memories of working with hemlock in the factory. So many boring days I look back on with some joy.
I talked about my view of how I am trying NOT to get lost in the past and to FOCUS ON THE PRESENT. I lost too many present moments in my past by constantly looking backward and walking forward. A big push for me these days is NOT to go on nostalgia benders.
Sitting here, I got a cup of Almond Milk. I offered the cup to Buddy Bird and at first, he pulled away then remembered that he liked it. Offered the cup to Max Bird and she pulled away then rubbed her beak on Bud’s and got a taste of it. Gave Buddy the cup and Max was like, “hey let me have some!”. Damn they love that shit! Hilarious to see them gobbling it down.
I have had a portable AC unit for a few years. Could not use it due to some electrical issues. Tried it few days ago and no circuits popped. Installed it in my bedroom window today. It felt good doing the work.
2 days in a row my oldest brother has hammered at me about looking up food he can get from different places in the USA. I told him food is food! He wanted me to find food from different states and order it for him. I finally understood that. My brother-in-law mentioned it and I understood. I will humor him and look for odd stuff from odd places for him. I have collected various things in life. I get it.
Talking with the therapist, I understood how much I have picked up/learned about psychology over the years. I have read many “self-help” books and many of them were just for cash. Make money books without substance. Others made a lot of sense and seemed universal. On the road to a saner mind, I wasted much money but did find a few gems.