Migraines don't stop,husband cheating?, Mom psycho effective issues in ?

  • June 7, 2022, 3:34 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

Sometimes the hardest thing for me is to find time by myself to write entries. When I try to write my mom often tries to read what I have to say. She is so worried what I am writing.

My mom is schizoeffective I am trying to get guardianship of her to be sure when her voices don’t take over or she to be sure didn’t take her medicine wrong. I got to be sure that she doesn’t behave irrational or hurt herself. So far this week she admitted she didn’t take her medicine and the voices told her to kill my husband with a gun simply because they had an argument. She bold face lied to her psychiatrist about still not hearing voices. He and I had to have a conversation far away from my mother. My mother believes God has blessed her with the ability to ease drop on conversations said about her where she can’t hear them. She guess what we talked about. Mom was apparently wrong about the conversation. I gave her tiny details about the conversation but nothing of major importance to satisfy her curiosity.

The psychiatrist and I discussed how for mom’s safety she can’t live alone. He said he is grateful I am there for her getting guardianship that without me she would have to live in a nursing home. I told him about how she threw away my court papers and she hopes if I lose enough paperwork that the court case would be tossed out. He told me that he will do anything he can to be sure that mom gets the help she needs for her schizoeffective. Her delusions are so bad she simply can’t live alone. He said obviously I am a good daughter anybody else would put her in a nursing home.

My husband Talan during Pride event informed me that Emily and Pan are taking him out. Both of these biological females define themselves as they. My husband had a great time hanging out with them. He bought Emily and Pan a mothman doll a piece and he bought me a hand made bat doll. He took them to the park and out to dinner. I stayed home feeling left out. He doesn’t take me on dates. He treats Pan and Emily better than me. He screamed they are gay that shouldn’t make me feel jealous. I reminded him Emily has a boyfriend she defines herself as gay but she is cheating on her boyfriend with whatever is currently available. So far she cheated with Dillion and she apparently is getting ready to have a romantic relationship with Pan. Emily may call herself gay but I honestly believe she is pansexual. Talan says he is not cheating and I shouldn’t be jealous.

My husband doesn’t know Eddie messaged me last night. He was checking on me. Eddie knows of my husbands possible infidelity and Eddie offered to leave his fiance to be with me. I told Eddie no thanks go on somewhere. Eddie wanted to talk but I shot Eddie down. Honestly Eddie would make a better husband but if they cheat with you they will cheat on you. If my husband and I don’t work out I will simply be the crazy cat lady. No more men and their bullshit.

Yesterday I woke up early in the morning. My husband watched my mom while I went out and delivered certified court papers in the mail to my brother. I went to the court house got extra court paperwork to hide from my mother so she can’t throw it away..again. I went to the police station arrange for an officer to deliver paperwork to my mother that is certified so she knows there will be a court case for her psychological health petition. I was doing everything the court system told me to do in order to be sure mom gets the help she needs.

After I went to the store and took care of mom’s dogs and cats I discovered my mother in law Dee decided to come to hang out. She quit her job and felt in the dumps. She wanted to go out to dinner. I kept telling everyone pick a place and go. My husband kept arguing where we were going I was just going to buy some food and bring it to the house to discover I forget my wallet and came back.

I told Dee about Talan going out to dinner with Emily and Pan and leaving me home. She said I tend to overreact. I asked her what would she do if one of her ex husbands took 2 women out? Wouldn’t she be upset? I told her imagine how I feel. The man won’t take me out but he has no problem dismissing my feelings. I am being dramatic for wanting my husband to be faithful. Fuck both of them. He screamed I don’t hang out with his friends. Why should I? They treat me as an outsider. I rather have him go hang out with his friends and leave me alone. I rather stay home crochet, read a book and watch movies with mom. He won’t hang out with my friends why should I do the same for him?

Dee, mom Talan and I ate at Cheddar’s. I had a Caesar salad. It was pretty good. I spent most of the time on my phone. I decided they didn’t deserve respect after all the argument I had to do so they would make up their fucking mind where we were going to eat.

I went to Walmart bought my mom a Cirkul. I think I am going to order some different flavors for us to try. I am trying to wean myself off of soda.

I decided since the Ajovy shot for my migraines isn’t working I requested my neurologist that I no longer take it. Since my ministroke in August I have kept migraines almost 24/7. No medicines appear to work. Right now the doctor has been prescribing me blood pressure medicines to prevent me from having another stroke. I will continue to take the blood pressure medicine as prescribed but I think I am interested in finding a holistic method to help lower my blood pressure and deal with headaches.

I need to nap a little longer. Today I got to call an officer to be sure I sent mom’s paperwork correctly to them for the court case. They have to deliver this paperwork sometime today which will piss off my mother but she will get over it.

I got to take my car today to get my oil leak fixed. I hope after they fix my oil leak I won’t have anymore repairs needed done for a while. I got to take my husband to work early so I can do repairs on my car.

My husband Talan keeps criticizing me for staying home. I am required to stay home to be a caregiver for my mother 24/7. I wish I could earn money for all the agrivation that I dont. My husband over and over again says he wish I let him quit his job so he could care for mom. He doesn’t know how to treat my mom fairly they often argue. I chose to stay home to be sure my mom was treated kindly. My husband can be a real jerk.

I wish I could say my life is wonderful that I was happy but honestly I am miserable. This migraine simply won’t stop. It is hard to see the phone to type. I guess I better go to bed.


Anaiss June 07, 2022

Why would your husband take out two other women (however they define themselves) when he never takes you out? To be honest, if he is cheating, I'd tell the other woman to take him. You can do better.

Beret Anaiss ⋅ June 07, 2022

Hear, hear!

lessoff June 07, 2022

the blood pressure meds i take (metropolol) also helps keep migraines at bay. i dont know which one you take but that might help? ive had one bad migraine since my daughter was born in 2015 but i used to get like 5 a year. so i like to think the medicine is helping. the only thing is that it is a beta blocker so if you take other meds you have to make sure there are no counter effects.

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