I have been trying to teach myself to crochet a skull and roses scarf. Due to my lack of experience I have been struggling to get it right. I know YouTube videos are helpful but I wish a person could teach me in a class.
Today we went to Pride. My friend Tella said she would meet me there by the time I got there her anxiety got the best of her. I was delayed because I was planting our garden Tella took a few pictures with me and simply left. I was bummed my best friend couldn’t stay. I didn’t complain because Tella struggles with her mental health.
My mom,Talan and I went to the Pride event. It was a loving experience. Lots of people dressed in beautiful clothes. Great entertainment some wonderful people came in to do health surveys. The drag queens looked amazing. My husband bought dolls for his 2 best friends. His best friends were given moth man dolls and he bought me a bat doll a lady sewed on her sewing machine. Talan bought a cup and mom bought a God’s eye. I caught myself thinking why did I never sew dolls? Maybe I see a new project coming. While at the event I bought a Bob Ross and some black cat stickers.
About the time I got excited for the drag queens mom decided she needed to pee. I walked with her over to McDonald’s. Talan,her and I had lunch. I could hear the music and cheers across the road but I couldn’t see the show. I felt left out.
I ran into some friends. I wore a black polkadot dress with a wide brimmed hat due to my cinched in waist and very large bust a man in a wolf suit said I looked like Lady Dimitrescu from the Resident Evil videogame. Due to me not being a gamer idk if that was a compliment or an insult. I know several people called me this videogame character.
My mom and I went to Rails To Trails in uptown Beckley. There are some beautiful paintings of angel wings on the walls. We walked up and took some photographs in front of them. My husband complained his friends needed to pick him up what’s taking us so long.
After we got done at Pride Talan decided to take Emily and Pan to the park. I wasn’t invited so I just let him go. I thought if they take my husband they will just do me a favor. They apparently went out to dinner together. I said nothing I didn’t complain. It wasn’t even worth a fight. I often feel so lonely in this marriage.
While Talan was hanging out with his friends I was on webcam with my best friend Tella she was upset because at 350 pounds her bikini doesn’t look right. So far she has lost over 50 pounds on keto. I told her either alter the bikini to fit better or accept she is beautiful and wear it anyway.I was tempted to go to her house and alter her suit so it fits her better. She cried she is ugly. I told her she is beautiful and if anyone says anything jiggle her belly at them and tell them to eff off.
Tella knows I weigh 200 pounds. She wants to be my size. I tried to explain to her even at 200 pounds I don’t have confidence to wear my bikini around other people. I only wear my bikini when I am camping deep in the woods with my husband. Tella has seen me in a bikini she wants to be my size but doesn’t understand if she isn’t happy now she won’t be happy at 200. I am not happy at 200 but I won’t starve myself just because Vogue thinks I am fat.
I am so tired.My husband poured suntan lotion on his skin that was exposed to the sun yet he is so pale he manage to burn his back under 2 layers of shirts. I have no idea how he did it.. talent I guess.
Today at Pride I ran into my friend Angela just came out as bi. She was so afraid to be judge to discover kindness and support. She found out me and my husband are allies and she hugged me several times. I told her if she needs someone to talk to message me on Facebook. Angela told me it was so nice to find her identity after years of darkness. I hugged her and told her welcome home. I hope she finds happiness soon.
My friend Michael came to Pride with his partner Mindy. Michael was having so much fun. He was wearing the bi flag with pride. He grabbed a mike and was singing while his girlfriend danced nearby with a big group. I couldn’t help but smile when my mom jumped up and started dancing beside Michael. We had so much fun.
My mom got tired so we went home early but we did have a little fun at least.