Is she listening? in 2022

  • May 13, 2022, 12:12 p.m.
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We’re planning on driving down to the beach on Monday, but since I don’t want to wait that long to catch up on my writing, I’ll get started now. I can work on my story on the road.

I’m using my chat thread with Alyssa to keep an audio journal. It’s the easiest place to do it that I know of. It’s even easier than Twitter and definitely easier than Swell. I still can’t help but wonder if she ever listens. It doesn’t matter if she does, but I’m curious. Does she or doesn’t she? I would still have to guess no. Where is a doctor/wife/mother going to find time to listen to several minutes of messages from someone they never wanted to be friends with? She’s never given me any indication that she’s read anything of mine, let alone ever contacted me in any way. Even so, the idea of her possibly listening, even if it’s slim, kind of amuses me. I’m not saying anything I wouldn’t mind her hearing. Whether she listens in or not, it’s a convenient place to keep an audio journal of my life. The lack of change in profile pictures for so long likely has nothing to do with me, and it’s even likelier that she’s not listening.

Sometimes I think that, yeah, maybe she is listening and that’s why she hasn’t updated her profile pic in three years; because she feels her privacy has been violated and she doesn’t want me seeing any new content. But if that’s the way she really feels, couldn’t she just simply block me? Or would that be considered a “reaction” of some kind that she doesn’t want to give me? I’ve always wondered why some people ignore while others block. Stacey might have the answer to that, but I’m certainly not going to ask her, LOL.

The doc is more confusing than ever. She’s read the few messages I’ve sent but continues not to engage with me in any way. It’s weird because she definitely doesn’t strike me as the type to be a friend collector.

Fitbit has added the A-fib detector, but you have to be still for them to detect it if you have it. I’m not always still when my heart flutters, although I don’t expect to get a notification either way. I was surprised to learn that some people with A-fib don’t have symptoms.

Everything I want to publish for now is published. So now I just let them sit there and generate whatever they’re going to generate.

The ENT referral I was given was for somebody who’s out of network, so they gave me another referral that was in Tampa. If we have to go all the way to Tampa, I would rather see the first guy I saw. But Tom swears we can find one closer, so he’s looking on the insurance site.

Yesterday I was like, what is it with this place all of a sudden becoming a little more like the old place with the projects and the barking? Yesterday morning, I was pissed at Steve for letting his dog bark for a minute or two and not taking responsibility to do a damn thing about it. I haven’t heard it today, but when Tom was out, he heard it bark and then Steve yelling at it. It’s about fucking time!

Then. I had a hilarious thought. When it was going off yesterday morning and distracting me when I was golfing with Tom, the windows happened to be open and I was bitching to Tom about it. Could Steve have heard me? I don’t know about that. I mean, yes, I’m kind of loud, but could he really make out what I was saying?

I still hear the dogs at night that are outside of the park, but never in the daytime. This pretty much tells me they’re probably allowed indoors during the daytime and that they are at the junkyard protecting the place. At least I think it’s some kind of junkyard. At first I thought it was coming from straight behind us, and while it could be, the distance seems about right for the volume.

So yesterday’s projects were Steve having his place pressure washed, a pest vehicle at the place next to him, plus a roof going on a few houses down in the other direction. Fortunately, it was far from maddening. Just a little noticeable. I can hear some hammering today too. Someone recently moved into this house, so I guess now they’re adding the trimming to the place or something.

I’ve certainly got a growing curse on me lately. One of the bamboo stalks died and the basil plant doesn’t look so great. The newly planted palm trees across the street don’t look like they’re doing well either. I don’t think it’s just the dry weather. I think it’s mostly due to the shitty soil they warned us about when we first moved here.

Bought a $10 app called Wander. You can explore almost anywhere in the world, and even the space station. I’m not so sure about it yet. It requires so much clicking of the controllers. I can pretty much see the same stuff in VZfit, but I’ll give it time. I like how you can choose a random place to explore even if it doesn’t tell me where I’m at. I don’t like that I’m not at ground level, but Google doesn’t shoot pics at ground level. The pictures also take longer to load than on VZfit.
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