My Brother And My Son in Help Me Please

Revised: 04/27/2022 10:16 a.m.

  • April 27, 2022, 3 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

Are two different people with different goals in life.
I was talking to my brother and he just doesn’t understand why my son is so lazy and doesn’t want to work or do much else. But then my son’s brain is very different then my brothers and he has issues he has to deal with where my brother doesn’t.
For the most part my son has lived the working poor life or the poor life depending on his situation at the time. Like now my son is dirt poor and it’s all because of my son’s choices.
But the good news is my son probably has a place to live at the end of the month so he won’t be coming here for two weeks. It’s not the perfect place but at least he will have everything he needs. Unlike the SRO he was going to live in. They didn’t accept his application and I am not sure why. But I am glad hey didn’t because those places are horrible. They are right in the middle of what we call the east side and that is where all the drug addicts and alcoholics live and no one works so they collect welfare. This is not the place for my son. And the places are like a bachelors apartment but smaller and has no bathroom or kitchen. The bathroom is shared and for the kitchen he might have a hot plate.
My brother always asks me why my son can’t live with me for ever or till he gets something “proper” and as much as I love my son and would love him to love with me i have hubby to also think about and he has lived with my son and just doesn’t like it because my son just doesn’t work. And if he does it’s for a very short time because he ends up hating his job and just quits. And hubby does not like supporting him.
Maybe if I had a third room I might consider him living with me but I don’t have one and the land lady thinks that he needs to figure out his life without being with me all the time.
The thing my brother doesn’t understand or get is living poor. My brother always had more then enough money to do what he wants because of the kind of job he has. And my brother I find is a stuck up snob and I don’t like that. I just can’t understand why my brother won’t find him a place to live that he thinks will be good for him and maybe charge cheap rent. But with my son’s history my brother won’t do that so it’s all on me to help him. I can only help my son so much and when I can I do but I don’t want him to live with me.
Being a parent is really hard and it’s just not your child you have to think about but also your significant other and roommates if you have them.
I wonder if my brother would survive being dirt poor and always having to find places to live or going to the food bank and soup kitchens? I have never had to find places to live but I have gone to the food bank and I even worked at a few of them. But I wouldn’t call myself dirt poor just poor. I figure as long as I can afford my rent and at least a two week supply of food and all of my bills are paid then I am doing better then most people.
With my brother now all I say to him is I will talk to hubby about my son living with me and leave it at that. My brother just doesn’t understand the other side of the tracks and never will. But I do and that is okay.

Onto something else…

All of my bills are paid and all i need to do is get the rent cheques up to the land lady so I can live here another month. And either tomorrow or the next day I will be going grocery shopping to stock up on fruit and vegetables and anything else I ran out of or is getting low.
And then I will feel better and probably eat better and not all that chips and mixed nuts I have been eating and feeling really gross after I eat them.

Onto something else…
I have a question for you? Can people take probiotics for the rest of their life or do they have to stop at one point? I have been taking them because the doctor recommended that I do and now my stomach is back to normal and is digesting what I am eating. And I don’t have as much gas or the trots or the liquefied accidents any more so I know I am feeling much better. I will be calling the doctor to ask him and see what he says, just to get another thought.

Onto something else....
Dinner last night was Shepherd’s Pie and it turned out good despite me forgetting the mixed vegetables and there is a small amount left over so hubby will have that on Friday.
And tonight’s dinner is going to be Sweet and Sour Pork.

https://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/homemade-sweet-and-sour-pork/
I like making this because it’s a one dish thing and the mess isn’t that bad and I like it and it’s filling.

Onto something else....
Well, I will stop here…
Do have a great day....
Be Kind, Be Calm, Be Safe and Behave.


Last updated April 27, 2022


raeven April 27, 2022

I had to kick my adult son out of my house years ago. I told him I'd drive him to the homeless shelter that second, but he was not staying in my house any longer. His dad had kicked him out months before. He couch surfed and squatted in the attics of some of the downtown buildings. Parenting adult children is trickier than when they were younger.

Jodie raeven ⋅ April 27, 2022

Has your son changed in any way or is he the same?
And why did you kick him out?

raeven Jodie ⋅ April 28, 2022

That was a while ago, like probably 2009 - 2010 .. and he's a bit more responsible now, but still can't really hold a permanent job. He's a musician and has managed to support himself with it for years one way or another. What is scary to me is that his girlfriend is even more irresponsible than he is and that's really saying something. They recently took on a year lease of an apartment with an $1800/month rent and had the GF's dad co-sign for it. Which is so dumb on his part, but whatever. I just stay out of it. I can't help them financially and even if I could, I don't think I would at this point.

Jodie raeven ⋅ April 28, 2022

Yeah my parents helped my son till he didn't even bother to give notice he was moving or get the damage deposit back so they won't help him anymore and my brother just thinks he is lazy and won't help him either.

raeven Jodie ⋅ April 28, 2022

Oh, and I kicked him out because I told him he could live with me when his dad kicked him out, but he had to either get a job or take some classes at the community college which I would pay for. Even just one or two classes to start. Well, he would argue with me all of the time about going to class, and at one point he admitted that when I dropped him off there, he would go sit in the library instead of go to class. That's when I kicked him out. I spent a lot of money (to me) to send him to class and he just didn't care.

Jodie raeven ⋅ April 28, 2022

So did he get a job or just went on welfare? yeah my son actually failed at college because he didn't do the work and argued with the professor.

theKat April 29, 2022

seems like he has low drive to succeed? some people are happy with nothing in life... that is why so many people are homeless... they do not want to work, clean a home, pay bills, drive a car, cook or anything... most are homeless by choice

Jodie theKat ⋅ April 29, 2022

There is also the ones who would rather be stoned or drunk 24/7 but the ones who are not do change their mind and do get a home of sorts.

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