I'm angry rn about being angry in Why I'm angry

I guess if we explore my anger, we’ll also be exploring my depression. I’m angry that I even have depression and so much anger that somehow disguises itself into depression? Idk. I’m angry that I can’t be perfect. I’m angry that I’m fearful to explore this anger because I could spiral. I’m angry that depression is a lens that comes and goes. I’m angry that in order to do something about getting better, I have to, you know, do something about it. More than I’m already doing. I’m angry that the circumstances, trauma, grief, timing, etc surrounding Shadow and dad’s deaths shifted my perspective enough for me to have an existential crisis at 33.

The events of the past stay in the past, but it’s the significance of the event that carries it and those feelings to the present. It makes sense, but it’s annoying.

Last updated April 26, 2022