Yesterday morning Talan accidentally discharged a gun through the wall of my mobile home. He was trying to clean it when it misfired. Nobody was hurt just a hole the size of a quarter is on the outside of the mobile home. He was so startled that he put the gun away visibly shaken and apologizing for scaring me. He filled the hole with spray foam and was upset I called him a fucking dumb ass.
Yesterday we ate at Padrinos. The spaghetti was very good but I got sick off of it. I wanted mom to go look at a police car that was for sale. Talan said he didn’t want to deal with mom so I took him home.
I drove mom to look at the maroon retired police car. Due to Tom refusing to give her truck back I told her she needs another mean of transportation besides me driving her all the time. The guy said mom can look at it tomorrow he is on a business trip. I really need her to get this car. I need a break from always running her around.
Mom wanted a copy of the keys to the project mobile home threw a fit to get her way. I told her I am sick get her keys let’s go home.. mom went into Walmart and had a shopping spree for an hour while I almost threw up in the parking lot. I went in to find her for her to tell me to pay for her keys.. I refused and made her buy her own keys.
I told her use the minute key machine so she could go home. She complained it won’t take a $50 why can’t I pay for her keys? I took her $50 to the back of the store got her keys from a person using their machine. I was furious. I told her never complain about keys again. She then informed me she plans to change the locks on the project mobile home all my attempts were in vain. I was furious.. why do I try?
I took her home unloaded her items for her. I told her I got to be up at 4 am I need to go home.. mom said God blessed her with the ability to sing and screeched a horrible song. I told her no God blessed her with being tone deaf and the ability to annoy her damn daughter.
Mom bought a jacket in her tiny size and tried to get me to fit reminding me how fat I have got and even though it is to small I should keep the jacket. I told her no. Mom tried to give me a larger jacket from her house infested with cockroaches. I told her no I don’t want it.. mom said no means maybe I am taking the jacket when she walked in the next room I was furious I told her no means no! It doesn’t mean push to get her way and I just got in my car and left.
I came home furious from mom. My husband says I am a bad wife I neglect his needs he was wanting laid but never mind. I told my husband when the gun discharged I wish I was just shot and died. He lectured how he hates my mom because his hopes and needs are placed on the back burner. We argued well into the night.
It is 2 am. I have been having chest pains I think from anxiety. I can’t make anyone happy. I place everyone first yet everyone complains. I got to be at work at 5 am I get off at 1. Due to Talan being at work I will need to walk home. When he gets off at 5 I got to take mom to look at the police car.. I hope she gets it I need to rest.
I told mom in 1 year if life doesn’t improve I plan to leave give her my mobile home and start a new life elsewhere. She said what does she need to do die and give me get stuff to be happy? I told her she isn’t allowed to die quit being toxic. Straighten her life out quit acting crazy give me a damn break.
I am so tired I can’t sleep. I hate this damn life. I work at 5. I keep trying I don’t understand why.
Last updated December 03, 2021