Grumpy Old -astard in Ok,Boomer

  • Oct. 11, 2021, 5:56 p.m.
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  • Public

Because of an incident on here today I have realized I need to be a bit careful. Whoever may read my stuff will know I have a thing about using NATURAL language. (Profanity).

I have realized I am a grumpy old bastard. I try not to show it too much because I am AWARE OF IT. I remember bitchy grumpy old people when I was young. It must have occurred to me back then the thought of, “damn, hope I am not that way IF I get old!”. I remember seeing my dad become a grumpy mean hateful cuss of a man. I thought it was because he had always hated me and was finally letting it out AND my mother’s death had left him that way.

I am AWARE of the grump voice in me. AWARE of my emotions and, most of the time WHERE they come from in me. I learned long ago that there are 2 primary emotions. 2 parent emotions. Love And Fear. Freud mentioned Eros and Thanatos. Love and Death desires in us all. The desire to live and the urge to die etc. I often look at where my emotions are coming from and it is easy to see the anger issues rising from a parent of fear. All my life I have had fear. Anxiety. I was put in a psych hospital for it back in 1964. Fear made me afraid of being afraid. Eventually I got to know IT. It helps that I accepted in an empathetic way that we are all afraid. My father turned his to anger and I turned mine to more positive things. Self-reflection I think now. I learned to grow my Emotional Intelligence.

When I am grumpy now, I ask myself what asking another man would get me knocked on my ass for: “What are you afraid of? What is there in you that makes you want to lash out?” Answer: With age comes NEW fears. Why do I resent __ and ____? It helps me deal with the grumpiness and look back in time to my father and understand him a little more. It helps me understand why the neighbor kids grandfather was such an ornery mean man. I understand it more because of … EMPATHY. I can understand the anger and anxiety of youth because of EMPATHY.

Empathy is a wonderful way to ungrump the self and hopefully feel more compassion for others and my grumpy old ass.


patrisha October 11, 2021

Interesting!

Lobbastah October 14, 2021

My grandma used to call everyone "hun" or "sweetie," like at a drive thru window or like anywhere, and I remember thinking that when I got to be her age, I was going to do the same thing. And I did, but I didn't wait to be her age; I started when I was in my 40s, ha.

I say what I want, sometimes profanely, and I enjoy it. I've earned it purely by surviving to be this age, ha!

Boomer Lobbastah ⋅ October 14, 2021

Thanks hun. Sweetie! ;-) You rock!

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