A relative of mine recently made an offhand mean shit comment to me. I found it offensive and I am sure that that person knew I would. I am sure they meant it as a slight. A dig. A petty insult. OR maybe they just had a brain fart and blew it out in a comment. In that case, due to a history with me of such digs, he brain farts a lot. I called him on it and he took a few minutes to come back and TRY TO TURN IT AROUND ON ME LIKE IT WAS MY ERROR.
I use the incident as part of an ongoing reflection and wonder of WHY ARE PEOPLE PETTY MEAN SONSABITCHES? I can analyze the shit out of it but in the end… they just ARE. A flaw of character. Fucked up inside. There is a bully lurking in there.
With this relative, I have my own analysis of them. Rich and highly educated. Puts on a pose of being a “good” person and do-gooder but has looked down on ME for decades. I shrug it off, most of the time. His wife has him under her thumb. Milktoast personality. Control freak. Manipulator. Know it all. Ok with all that I see a very insecure person (said the person without a degree in psych). This person of THEY know I depend on them and that is a form of control. I have been open about my errors in life and they have capitalized on that knowledge. THEY are so superior to me! I am good for their egos in that regard. They try to control people like me in little ways such as the LANGUAGE I use around them is offensive so do not talk THAT way. “Fuck” is so offensive. I find it a good emotional word.
The good here is that I do not have to be insulting and mean like THOSE people. My smug superiority in this shines now. Wow am I GOOD! (Sarcasm)
See the negatives of others, what we dislike in THEM and make an effort to not BE THAT WAY.
Do No Harm.
Try not to. Sometimes by accident we do or by ignorance and minor stupidity. It is often an innocent thing. It can be corrected. Nobody likes to be talked down to. Yet many do. There is a lack of empathy and self-awareness in that. I try to only do it with my birds who admirably don’t give a fuck what I say.
My former boss had his good side but he was often a bully. Viciously attack me verbally and rarely admit to being wrong. Challenge me or dare me with Attitude to speak up against him. Bosses always have a cudgel of power of, “I can fire you and or make your life miserable here”. At times when I DID speak up he DID make my life miserable. I realized he was/is a very sick person because he seemed to ENJOY being cruel. But there is ambivalence on my part to totally paint him as being a sonofabitch. He could be good so I make empathetic excuses about the pressures he was under.
I have to look at myself and my life history and wonder if I was ever a bully or cruel to people or animals. Yes I did yell at and kick the family dogs BUT I FELT REMORSE FOR IT AND QUIT. Same with a dog I had. I LEARNED to not be a mean bastard. I despise bullies. I loathe them. Therefore I do not want to be what I loathe. Yes I yell at my birds but they know much of it is play. They know I play like they do with them.
When someone is a mean shit to me I try to at first analyze WHY. If the answer is that they are just fucked-up toxic, I try to ignore them or shut them out of my life. I have noticed some toxic people on THIS particular site I am trying to avoid. 2 of them have tried to lecture me and I do not need that shit since I am not a schoolboy anymore. School of life? No I do not need such teachers or more like DICTATORS. That is so much of what those that bully and browbeat do and are: They dictate and are dictators. Why I loathe trump. The worst of these people need to be … thought out to the cornfield (old TV show reference). There is a part of me that is very dark and sick I know that wants such bullies to just vanish. People are very unrealistic about the realities of violence and death to others. It is often messy. I hate mess. It is often a prison sentence or death for the perpetrator. Thus…on the internet I try to block and avoid such people. In real life if I have to, I put up with the shit from them and know smugly WHERE they are coming from inside and I try not to be like them.
Don’t be a mean sonofabitch (he said contradicting himself by lecturing)
Be better than that. Be KIND or shut the fuck up.