My friend Tella has bipolar and gets a check. Her kid gets a check for being autistic. Last year her and all her friends went to the beach. I stay homed and work. I wish I could have seen the ocean but I had bills. She sent me pictures and videos I cried.
Tella is my best friend. She took Dee her ex-husband Justin’s girlfriend to the woman’s expo yesterday. I wanted to go but I had to work. I got tickets asked her to go with me for her to say she can’t go till 1 today she plans to sleep in.. bitch I go to work at 2! She said advantage of having a monthly check for her bipolar is unlike me she can live comfortably and have fun. I felt like garbage. Here I am struggling but thanks to her check and her food stamp she never fears hunger or homeless she just has fun. She has never worked a damn hour in her life. What am I doing wrong?
All I do is work. I get abused by employees and guests of our establishment. I tolerate them but I am now having anxiety attacks so bad I debating on finding another job. My life is barely existing.
Tella lives her best life. While I am at work today all our friends are going to the river with her. I can’t do anything because I always work.
I came home last night my husband demand me to pay for rent, pay for the grass. I got $100 to live on till Wednesday. He said I needed to learn to budget and even though he put $100 in mead making and $300 in guns layaway knowing our damn rent is coming. I have $100 till payday because I paid part on his u-haul for him to get his car parts and I paid a repairman $100 to fix the sewer leak under our mobile home. I paid for a sharkbite to fix the waterline under the sink.
God made me fat because he knew if I was skinny I would be a damn stripper. I am tired of going without. Either I need a check like Tella or I need to find a better paying job. All of this is bullshit.
Tella saw where on Facebook I said I was tired of struggling while other people without jobs having their best life. She tried to fight me but found out I was working at the gas station again. She quickly deleted her text message when she realize I know where she lives and I am not afraid to beat a hoe. Girl learn your place or I will put you in it.
I really need to figure out how to afford mini vacation and have fun and afford bills as well. Adulthood is tricky.
Today Tella try to convince me to call in so I could take her to the expo later so she can sleep in.. no bitch get up early let’s go have fun before my work. Unlike her my bills are not paid by the government I got to work!
I think I need to start hanging out with hardworking adults instead of a bipolar chick who don’t know work. I love Tella but I fear I might be outgrowing her. I pay for everything when we are out anyway. I guess technically she is a financial burden on me anyway.
I am going sleep in a bit and then go to the expo and work. I hate adulthood.