Working at a gas station has taught me unless you are a smoker no one is giving you a damn break. If you are standing outside without a cigarette in your hand customers immediately decide since you are doing nothing you can help them. No moment to calm down or relax. My boss tells me just sit in the floor a minute or sit in the office a minute but everyone else expects me to keep working.
I have learned gas stations are stressful and anxiety attacks happen on the regular. I have learned people treat retail workers worse at a gas station than my 2nd job that is a craft store. I have learned even though you are having an anxiety attack in the damn bathroom the boss will time you and expect you to be in and out of that bathroom less than 2 damn minutes.
Having anxiety attack in the stall there is that one jerk that wants your stall not one available beside it! I have learned crying isn’t professional even if that means crying in a bathroom stall. Customers will complain your tears interfered with their happiness. By the way screw you customer.
I never thought I would start smoking CBD but I try not to smoke cigarettes. I am smoking CBD to decrease my anxiety and leg/back pain. In order to be allowed my 5 minute break every hour. Do I get it? No! I am starting smoking to be allowed to sit down just a while. What is a break? I have no idea!
What is a day off? I don’t know! Between both jobs someone is always calling me in. I try to schedule days off but one job or the other refuses my request. I really wanted to go to the Renaissance Faire. I was told to bad even though I scheduled it a month in advance.
JoAnn Crafts cut my hours saying since I have a 2nd job they rather give most of my hours to someone else. That is a relief to me because I am tired af. I hardly sew anymore. I need to just find the time.
So why am I up at 4 am with Ziggy on my lap? I am stress trying to get by to sleep. Ziggy is trying to comfort me. Ziggy often dries my tears and pets my face for comfort..good kitty.
So gas stations have a high turn over. I can see why I often get cussed out and treated less than human. Yesterday Jessica had to kick 2 people out because they craved violence and thought cussing us was the answer. We have no reward cards to give.. attacking the employee is the answer. Jessica hasnt even been there a month and is threatening to quit. She already quit here once. They let her back because they are desperately needing employees.
On my days off I am always called in to cover other people shifts. Sometimes I wish I was a stripper or had a sugar daddy so I wouldnt have to work so damn hard! I hop from gas station to gas station for hours. I don’t take off my clothes but I am a hoe for the money. My boss loves that I am willing to work.
I have employees who micromanage everything I do. They tell me when I am allowed to use the bathroom. When I am allowed to have a break. If I break their pattern they have meltdowns and report me to the boss. I even report myself if I do something petty to piss off a fellow employee. My boss says I am to honest because I even confess if I in the wrong. She says most people are not that willing to admit their flaws and be help accountable.
I wish the cooler was sound proof. I just need one place to climb in and cuss where I am not heard.
If I ever have a day off again that is actually mine I plan to run far away
Between both jobs a day off is as rare as a unicorn..