05/19/2021 in My Therapy Book

I haven’t posted in a couple days, and I think that’s because I haven’t always been happy with myself. I look back and I think about the decisions that I’ve made and whether they were the right ones. I’m finding it harder and harder to like myself and that is a difficult concept understand. I guess I just have not want to put down into words what I have been feeling. The inability to start and stick with a diet is frustrating. At times I wonder why I’m even here and what purpose I serve? I don’t mean for this to sound like a pity party or a bitchfest, but it is difficult. I’m going to try to start reading again. And keeping it off like I was for a while. At times, I think that really helps. At other times, the feeling of loneliness I experience makes me wonder why I do it. I want to express how I really feel, but even here with the anonymity allowed I have difficulty truly expressing myself. The feelings that I have turned me off so much I don’t want to even put them down into words. I guess that’s it.