Relationships in Help Me Please
Revised: 04/30/2021 8:08 a.m.
- April 30, 2021, 2 a.m.
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- Public
Well it looks like the relationship that I did have with my son is now gone. All I have asked him to do is phone me and he keeps sending me e-mails and I don’t like that because it’s just one sided and I don’t get to say what I really want. But that is okay it’s his lost not mine. So now he has no relationships with the rest of the family either and my mom said she does not want to talk to my son or have anything to do with him and my dad feels the same way. My brother also doesn’t want to do anything for my son and doesn’t care one way or the other is they have a relationship. But it’s kind of hard to have a relationship if there is no communication. And my son is also very ungrateful to everything they have done for him over the years especially all the opportunities they did for him and all the money they spent so he could have a better life. How hard is it to phone people and just say hi and ask how they are doing?
Question? How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? I call my parents every other day because the other day they call me and so I know what is going on in their life and how they are doing. I like that.
And I have another question? How can I stop doing what my son wants me to stop if he doesn’t talk to me and if he won’t even do what i want him to do? He still hasn’t told me when I will get my containers back so I am not even sure if he still has them or not. But whatever…I will just get some more and not be giving him any leftovers when he does come after this virus thing. In fact it has been suggested that I don’t invite him over ever again and I am seriously thinking about that.
I can understand my son’s behaviour towards me and my family if he were on drugs but he isn’t and I can’t understand how someone can be so ungrateful and treat people like they are money trees and just use them for giving stuff and getting free meals and the rest of the time no other communication…I just don’t get it.
I was once like him but then I realized that I need to have some sort of relationship with my family because one day an emergency is going to come up and I will need them and so I just stopped the lying and the not communicating so now I am as truthful as I can be and if I don’t know something I find out. And if I am wrong then I admit it. How hard is that?
Onto something else.....
It’s raining today so that is a good thing because we are not going anywhere. And maybe I will get some wife things done.
So I need to stop here and finish my coffee and then get some more and more…
Do have a great day
Be Kind, Be Calm and Be safe and behave....
Last updated April 30, 2021
synapse ⋅ April 30, 2021 (edited April 30, 2021)
Edited
I never talk to anyone on the phone, not even my parents. I only use it to set up appointments or when I otherwise absolutely have to. My mom learned to text so we have an authentic relationship. Dad is aware enough of my relationship with the other parent to be jealous, but if he can't understand or care that I literally don't ever want a phone call, then that's his problem.
Jodie synapse ⋅ April 30, 2021
I just find texting and messaging rude and not very personal. I actually prefer to hear the other persons voice. But then I really don't like cell phones.
synapse Jodie ⋅ April 30, 2021
I honestly find the idea that texting must be impersonal kind of ignorant, and do not feel strongly about missing out on relationships with people who misunderstand my potential for emotional investment over text. All my longest and closest (emotionally) friends, I have met online and mostly texted (or chatted) to. People who insist on reaching me through a phone call when I find it irritating tell on themselves as people who haven't understood my preferences or desires in the slightest, because I'm VERY vocal that I prefer asynchronous textual communication and conduct all my emotionally relevant relationships that way.
Jodie synapse ⋅ April 30, 2021
O feel the same way about texting and messaging. I have told my son I don't like it more then once but he just won't call me. I would like to think I am the exception to the rule because I am family.
synapse Jodie ⋅ April 30, 2021
An exception for family in my situation would be asking me to bear family interactions as a chore, and for me to do this continually without being shown much flexibility in return, created resentment I felt it was better for the relationship to avoid.
LMK if you find a way to reach your son, but based on this description if I were you I might try getting invested into letter writing in response the email correspondence he initiates.
Jodie synapse ⋅ April 30, 2021
His snail mail is hard to read and his writing is not very good so that is a big no and besides he is too poor to afford the stamps. If he did call me then I would be more incline to do everything he has asked me not to do...I don't think that is a whole lot to ask or is it?
synapse Jodie ⋅ April 30, 2021
I can just speak for me, but a call for small chat does feel like a lot. I feel captive the entire time. I cannot have a good relationship with anyone who holds an obligation to make calls over my head.