Kids are fun... or stressful? in Life Lessons

  • April 11, 2021, 1:57 p.m.
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  • Public

So me and my husband just got married 8 months ago, I’m 22 he’s almost 21.
We have had the talk about having kids and we both want to wait a while…
His mom is very pushy about it (see other entries)
I recently have started worrying about getting old and running out of time.. is this normal?
Husband wants only 2, I want 3-4.
I want there to be at least 2 years between kids but I’m worried I’m gonna get to old and there will be higher risk of complications…
Anyone else have these thoughts? Husband not want the same amount as you? Pushy mother in law? Am I worrying over silly things?

I guess I just need some advice and know I’m not alone..

Camdengirl April 11, 2021

So realistically they say 35 is the age they start worrying about your ability to reproduce. You’ve got tons of time, even if there are problems conceiving. Also, you might feel differently having had kids. They are relentless, and even being a nanny, I don’t think I appreciated that until I was a mum.

The Rocky Mountain April 11, 2021

I had my first at 35 and am trying for our second soon (37). Nooooo rush to have kids. Late 20s, early 30s, the perfect age. Your 20s are for doing things for YOU. Have fun with it. You don't need kids yet! Don't let anyone pressure you into having them.

Lis May 12, 2021

Your risk of complications, unless you have some extensive medical history we don't know about, is minimal until about age 35, as other noters said. I had my first at 25 and second at 27. I wanted 4. My husband wanted 2. By the time both of our kids were toddlers there were many days I questioned why I wanted more than 1! (I love my kids, but man are they a handful!). Take it kid by kid. If you know you want 4, great.... then have that as you "no more than" number, not a goal. It will change as time goes on. Shoot, you might up it to 6, even, and hubby might change his mind, too. xx

CountryGirl Lis ⋅ May 12, 2021

Yeah that’s also what I worry about, I’m leaning towards 3, husband thinks 2 is good! Haha so we will see!

Lis CountryGirl ⋅ May 12, 2021

I got my husband to agree that if our second child was the same gender as the first that he would consider a third... but the second child was opposite gender, and I was also jobless (and I was our only income) by the time she came along, so it was a non-issue.

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