Absence of Culture in Staying Connected

  • March 21, 2021, 3:58 p.m.
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  • Public

My house is a disaster, but what’s new?

At least it’s Sunday, and I can just rest. I’ll clean it later.

I had an interesting conversation with my husband this morning. I was sharing with him a part of my conversation with my program director. I told the program director that sometimes I feel like my “White culture” is just the absence of culture. I learn about what happens in different Hispanic households, or Black households, or Asian households, etc., and their traditions seem so much richer than mine. My program director claimed that the reason for this is that White people are conquerors; therefore, their culture is all appropriated from other cultures. At first I was like, hmm. I guess that makes sense.

When I shared this with my husband, he said no. That’s not true. There are plenty of White European cultures that are very rich. Think of German, or Italian, or Greek, or Scottish cultures. I was like, “I guess we were just talking about White-American culture.” My husband described White American culture as focused on “the nuclear family.” It’s all about the “white picket fence.” That made sense and resonated with me.

It’s not the first conversation with my husband when we’ve associated White with more individualistic thinking and less of the community-based thinking that you see in other cultures. It’s even been a culture conflict between me and my husband’s more Hispanic-oriented family. I’ve often felt an unwanted pressure around their expectations surrounding family, and particularly extended family. We also talked about my experience of having “less rich traditions” being because White-American culture is way younger than other cultures.

Just some food for thought.

We decided to order a mattress today, and I feel good about it. We didn’t end up getting an expensive, fancy mattress, but we ordered it from COSTCO and I’ve heard good things about their mattresses. My husband has been struggling with back issues for months and I don’t typically have back issues, but I do run into bouts of insomnia that I mostly attribute to the sinkhole in our current mattress. So I’m glad we’re replacing it. I imagine that when we get to be middle-aged, we’ll finally be ready for a dream mattress—one that costs thousands of dollars and feels like a cloud. Someday.

Tonight I’m going out to dinner with an old coworker, Alex. My friendship with him is a little strained. We have enough in common that I’ve been excited and motivated to build a friendship with him, but, while we’re both awkward in our own ways, our versions awkward aren’t totally compatible. He often leaves me feeling irritated. Still, I like to think his heart is in the right place, so I haven’t given up yet. Last time I saw him I remember feeling irritated because it was right before the presidential election and he was shoving his ideas down my throat a little, and then he invited someone else to hang out with us at the last minute and I didn’t feel like I could object. Then there have been other times I’ve been out with him and really enjoyed myself. So, I don’t know. We’ll see.

He’s one of several of my friends that I really don’t pay any attention to until they initiate contact. The only people I feel really invested in at this point are Terra and Anja. I just don’t have the bandwidth for much more than that, but when other people hit me up my general mood is, “I guess that could be fun.” Shrug.

All right well I’m going to make myself lunch. Until next time <3


Last updated March 21, 2021


Jodie March 21, 2021

I find that religion play more of a part in family traditions and way of life.

JustSurviveSomehow March 21, 2021

For what it's worth, I have a dream mattress that I only paid $1200 for. And it's adjustable.

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