Hildegard was heartbroken when she saw the marks on Rainbow’s body as she was undressing for bed that night.
Oh God, what had her daughter and her fiery temper done this time?
Rainbow sensed her staring and turned back to look at her with sad eyes. She turned away a moment later and Hildegard studied the bruises on her back with utter dismay as the younger woman stepped into the bathroom to brush her teeth. It explained why she had been walking with a bit of a stiff gait. Hildegard had thought she was just tired. Or maybe she simply had hoped that was the case.
Hildegard was propped up in bed with a book when Rainbow emerged clad in her panties and a thin tank top and slid into bed next to Hildegard. A moment later Hildegard put her book on the nightstand, turned out the light, and then gently gathered Rainbow in her arms. Rainbow fell asleep as Hildegard kissed and stroked her head. She slept more soundly than she had in a few days.
Until all the shouting woke her up.
Rainbow sat up fast and blinked the sleep from her eyes. Shaking the cobwebs from her brain she slipped out of bed and crept toward the partially open bedroom door. She pulled the door open a bit further and peered through it. She was unable to see Hildegard and Nadja as they shouted at each other in the living room, but she knew damn well they were arguing over her, even if Rainbow still had trouble understanding German when it was spoken rapidly.
And it was also obvious as to why they were arguing over her.
Rainbow loved Nadja though she knew she shouldn’t be with her as angry as she was so much of the time. She didn’t know what it was that made her so angry, but she knew she might end up getting hurt a lot worse than she already had been if she went to live with her. But would it really be that easy for her to let go? She never felt more frustrated in her life! Hildegard was the one she loved, but Nadja was the one she lusted, not that Hildegard wasn’t a very beautiful woman herself.
Rainbow slowly inched her way down the hallway and stood in the entryway to the living room.
Nadja spotted her first since she was the one facing her. When Hildegard realized something had gotten Nadja’s attention, she quickly turned in Rainbow’s direction.
“What?” Rainbow said. “Did you think all this yelling wouldn’t wake me up?”
Nadja stepped toward her. “Mama thinks I did this to you.”
Rainbow frowned in confusion as she studied Nadja. “But you did do this to me. Have you no memory of—”
“I remember just fine,” Nadja said cutting her off with a look of warning. “But you also fell against the towel rack and so I didn’t cause but maybe one or two small bruises.”
“Didn’t cause but one or two small bruises?!” Rainbow exclaimed as her own voice began to rise. “Are you out of your mind? You’re the reason I fell into the damn towel rack in the first place! You shoved me!”
“Rainbow, I will have none of this!”
“Oh, you’ll have it, alright,” Rainbow challenged knowing she wasn’t likely to hit her in Hildegard’s presence, “because I refuse to live with you if you ever do this again or even think for a second that I’ll allow you to treat me this way.”
“Ok, fine,” said Nadja, though clearly, she was still pissed.
“I will not have you or anyone else in this world abusing me!”
“I said fine, Rainbow.”
“Yeah, you said fine,” Rainbow said, trying to keep her voice as firm and as intimidating as she possibly could, “but what will you actually do about it?”
Nadja’s eyes glinted dangerously for a second and then they softened. “Come on, Zuckerpuppe. You know I love you. I don’t ever want to hurt you.”
“Then why do you take your anger out on me like you sometimes do? Why can’t we simply use words to resolve our conflicts instead of you having to get all physical?”
Hildegard studied the two women intently as they spoke.
“I will work on it, Rainbow.”
“That’s not good enough for me.”
“No, nothing really is these days, is it?”
Rainbow looked at Nadja incredulously. Finally, she threw her hands up in frustration and stormed out of the room.
After a few more harsh words were exchanged between mother and daughter, Rainbow heard Nadja leave. A moment or two after that, Hildegard quietly entered the bedroom where Rainbow lay in tears on the bed, and then she placed her iPod on the nightstand.
So that was why she had come over on a Monday morning. She’d forgotten to bring her iPod back.
Hildegard squeezed in beside her and held her tight. After a while, Hildegard got back up. “Kommen,” she said heading out of the bedroom and motioning for Rainbow to follow.
Rainbow brushed the tears from her eyes and followed the woman into the kitchen and to their laptops.
Hildegard sat down before hers and pulled a chair next to hers. She patted its seat and Rainbow sat down.
Hildegard typed and then translated.
Do you want to live with Nadja?
Rainbow was surprised but also not surprised by the woman’s directness. She locked eyes with Hildegard’s for a moment. Then she typed.
I do, but I’m afraid at times.
Hildegard typed again.
Then you must let me do what is necessary.
Rainbow was about to ask her what that meant when the doorbell rang. It was the lady from next door. Rainbow had been with Hildegard long enough to know that whenever Sarah came over she wouldn’t be leaving for hours. Same with if Hildegard went over to her place. Hildegard made sure she didn’t stay out more than two or three hours since part of the deal was not to leave her alone too long, and she didn’t like being alone for long anyway. Hearing the two women playing cards in the next room was comforting and soothing to Rainbow as opposed to an oppressive state of emptiness and silence.
If only the safe and friendly atmosphere weren’t spoiled with her concerns and conflicting emotions regarding Nadja.