Does anybody else make it a habit to look around their house and imagine the way it’s supposed to look to remind themselves about all of the beautiful potential that’s there? No? Just me? Okay cool.
This is something I do on the regular. I look at our living room and imagine all of my daughter’s toys put away, all the miscellaneous books and lotions and hair ties in their proper place (out of site), the furniture dusted, the carpets vacuumed… we really have a nice space, if you can see through all the crap. I feel the same way about every room in our house.
This past week I have gradually fallen more and more behind in every aspect of my life. I’m behind at work. I’m behind on studying. I’m behind on housekeeping. I haven’t done the dishes or cleaned up the living room floor in a solid seven days. It’s a disaster, and I’m not even sure if it’s my highest priority or not. This morning is my sister’s baby shower, so after I post this I think I’ll spend 20 minutes or so on the living room floor, 20 minutes or so making myself look presentable (it’s a Zoom shower), and then maybe I’ll have 20 minutes or so to try to catch up on my paperwork.
After the shower will be lunch and more paperwork, and then I see my first client at 1:30pm. Here’s to hoping I can catch up on the paperwork by the time I see my first client! Because today is my Friday and I really want to be done at the end of my last session.
Then I have my classic three-day weekend, which will hopefully be my opportunity to catch up on dishes, at least. I also wanted to put out Easter decorations this weekend, look into doing our taxes (and make appointments if necessary), clean off our patio furniture and my daughter’s water table, wipe out the bathtub, and attempt to sell some of the higher quality clothes that I’ll never fit into again.
I got an email about a relevant online training that was less than $100 to attend and for a second I thought, maybe I can make this one happen! But then I looked at my calendar, and I thought about my bank account, and I was like… not yet. I need to be patient. My time for trainings will come.
Remember how I was going to see a therapist for racial identity counseling? Well, that got cancelled. The therapist I wanted to make an appointment with was full, and it’s important to me that I get this particular type of counseling from an African American therapist. It just doesn’t seem appropriate to do it any other way. I’m currently on a waitlist, and I plan to call back once per week to see if there are any new openings. We’ll see.
I’ve been spending an increasing amount of time lately fantasizing about my “look” after baby Morgan arrives, the pandemic starts to ease up, and I start working in an actual building with people again. I’m actually really starting to look forward to that chapter. And to be licensed? I’ll get to make the rules about dress code and everything, and I am so wearing jeans to work. I may wear dress pants and actual dresses, too… but the idea is that I will have a nice wardrobe filled with classy clothes, and I’ll have stylish hair and jewelry. I’ll start to wear perfume again. It’s going to be a whole thing.
Until next time <3
This morning my daughter went “peepee in the toilet” with the incentive of getting a Dory sticker, and she did it very casually, too. I was like, “You want a sticker? You have to go peepee in the toilet, okay? Do you want to try?”
She was like, “Yes.”
I took off her diaper, helped her sit down, and she just peed like it was no big deal. So things seem to be looking pretty good in this area!
Last updated March 06, 2021