What drives you on can drive you mad in The Real Pretend Mulling

  • Feb. 24, 2021, 2:26 p.m.
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  • Public

I got my taxes “done” today. In quotes, because apparently, if you qualify for the actually-free TurboTax version (and I did, since I made less than $30,000 last year), they won’t let you access your previous years’ returns, so this means that I can’t e-file my finished return; I have to print them off and mail them to the IRS. Because reasons or something. Even though I’ve filed my taxes with TurboTax for fourteen years.

Ahem. BULLSHIT. This is why I support the IRS taking over the tax return business. Did you know that in Japan, the government calculates your taxes? And that they just mail you a postcard telling you how much you owe/the government owes you? And we can’t have that system, because…? No, seriously, if anyone has an answer to that (that isn’t “because AMERICA!” or similar), please let me know. I’ve been filing and paying taxes since 2007, and I haven’t got a single problem telling you that I’m about over the American way of taxes. Especially since every year, I see how much I’m paying for absolutely NOT things that I support my tax dollars going to.

For example: Teachers haven’t gotten a pay raise in Indiana for almost ten years. My salary increases by about $500 a year, and that’s it. The roads are absolute shit in most parts of Indianapolis. Drugs are killing more and more of our residents, and when my department suggests “more and better rehab,” we get a “we ain’t gotta do shit for them, it’s their own fault they’re addicts,” Limbarf-inspired bullshit in response. Oh, and this shithole city just voted to end the requirement for gun owners to carry a permit, while making it EVEN FUCKING HARDER for pregnant people to get an abortion. Just… Fuck the GOP. All of it. Fuck everyone who votes for these… things. I don’t even know what to call members of the GOP anymore, honestly. I don’t want to call them “animals,” because animals aren’t capable of evil (except for dolphins, who often wake up and choose violence). I don’t want to call them “snakes,” because that just perpetuates a negative stereotype of our serpentine friends. Tell me, when did the cobras vote to pass bills in favor of fracking, even though it would kill all the mice and every other prey source, and them, too? Never. “Because cobras are decent people!” And as dangerous as I think dehumanizing any evil person is, I honestly can’t think of any active GOP members who have a shred of humanity left. The Heroin Barbie distributed child pornography of her own daughter, Josh Hawley lied about his role in the Branch Davidian bullshit on January 6th, Todd Young and Mike Braun are fucking useless as always. Just. Nothing. It’s like they’re all automata.

Oh, and don’t think that ending the gun permit requirement is going to do anything but make working in government family services even more psychologically taxing than it already is. I’m not fucking kidding; I’ve already had one case this year where a father shot his children’s mother dead in front of them. She was 22. She had her entire life ahead of her. But she left an abusive relationship, and this subhuman scumfuck murdered her for it. And yeah, maybe he’d have stabbed her or strangled her if he didn’t have a gun, but the kind of person who makes that argument will also say about Brock Turner and Emily Doe, “Well, if he hadn’t raped her, he’d have raped someone else, because he was drunk.” Yeah, that’s probably true, but you’re defending a rapist and you’re a morally-bankrupt edgelord asshole, now go back to 8chan, where you came from.

Honestly, I am finding it harder and harder to justify not amending, or even repealing altogether, the Second Amendment. Having to see the fallout from gun violence as often as I do is argument enough for it. When we were under constant threat of being re-colonialized, yeah, gun ownership as a right made a lot of sense. But we are now the colonizers. We are the most powerful country in the world. We have nothing to fear from any invading country, and even if we are invaded or attacked, we have the largest, most well-trained, most technologically-advanced military IN THE WORLD, that would crush any invasion or insurrection like an over-ripe grape. Any of them. Had the National Guard been allowed to do their duty in Washington on January 6th, they’d have opened fire and shut that shit down faster than every Vanilla ISIS member that was there could scream “STOP THE STEAL”.

So yeah, in 1776, owning a gun was a necessity, not just for protection, but as a means of feeding your family through hunting. In 2021, when we have DoorDash, fully-stocked grocery stores, and the most powerful army in the world, gun ownership should be a privilege, and a rare one, at that.

//looks up at everything I wrote// That escalated quickly. I came here to bitch about TurboTax, and I ended up going full pinko. ‘tis what ‘tis.


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