Since my mom got religious she has learned helplessness. She wants to just sit there pray and cry until her “prayer” comes true. She doesn’t want to attempt to help herself she wants others to care for her since dad died in 2018 she has had no confidence or even will to fight for what she wants. I told her God won’t help others who won’t help themselves. My brother bullies her and mistreats her. Instead of putting my parasite brother in his place she says she will pray to God. Mom he is living in your house rent free, driving your truck that you pay the gas on. Eats the food you supply him and his wife. You buy his wife cigarettes. He uses your card to pay for roses for his wife. He treats mom like that and she gives them everything…wtf..did I miss something? He abuses her but she enables him because she thinks that’s love. She she can only maintain one child at a time so obviously I can care for myself.
I am working 2 damn jobs. Little General and Joann Crafts. My boss at KFC after not putting me on the schedule for over 3 weeks says she misses me and begs me to come back because I am a great worker. You ghost me over a month and suddenly you fear losing me? What did I miss? She says I am still hired and she says I work harder than most people at KFC! No shit! She reminds me of one of my exbfs. I only get attention when it convinces her. She got upset seeing me at work at Little General. I can’t sit there and wait on KFC to put me on payroll. She gave my husband a hat for me for when I am available to be put on the schedule. I work 2 jobs! There is only 24 hours in a damn day! Thank you for the opportunity. I appreciate that door still being opened but I am so tired!
My husband found out mom was being bullied by Tom my brother and Talan chose violence he said he would sit outside Tom’s house with a shotgun and they would have a little talk. He also threatened hand to hand combat with Tom after provoking him. He fantasizing resolving issues with violence like on the tv show Letterkenny. I told my husband his desire for violence is the reason why he isn’t allow at my mom’s. After arguing with him I left.
I took mom to the grocery store because Tom said she isn’t “allowed” to drive her truck.. That is ridiculous. It is her truck he doesn’t own it.. I can’t believe she fears the parasite! I took care of her dogs. Lemon got loose so with help of the neighbor we bribed Lemon with biscuits to get her back in the house. When I came home gasping for air she said see God brought Lemon home! I had no credit irritated I told mom telling her next time God can chase her I am to tired after all of that. I told mom get off her ass and care for her animals.. Just because I have no grandchildren for her doesn’t mean I have to babysit her pets.
Mom gave Lemon bread as a snack but ignored Bear. I walked up took a chunk of bread and fed Bear. Bear was so excited to have that attention. I told Bear I loved him and he is a good dog.. When dad was alive Bear was his dog. Bear was abandoned days after he was born by his mother. We have bottle fed this dog and loved him. After dad died mom rarely gives Bear affection. Bear was born in 2009. He is a senior dog. I always make sure Bear gets the attention he deserves. I resent her for playing favorites! Bear deserves love too!
So moms kittens Ghost and Turtle climbed up the fridge playing on the top of the fridge I noticed Luna was sleeping a lot. I got a better look her collar was to tight and left a raw spot.I asked mom how did she not notice? I suggested mom after I cut Luna’s collar off of her to get Luna checked by a vet.. Mom’s answer? Well I will pray.. That is nice mom but the cat needs checked out by a vet maybe some antibiotics! Mom ignored my request. I wish I could give this woman common sense!
I was so damn annoyed I told mom just because dad died doesn’t mean you don’t get off your butt and care for yourself,animals and house. She said all she had to do is pray God will supply.. I appreciate religion but you must do something to help God by helping yourself! I got tired of praying when the bills piled up so I work 2 jobs! Action will not happen without something pushing it along! Unlike my brother I can’t leech off of my retired mother! I am exhausted but I am so close to breaking even I can taste it! I haven’t had a day off in weeks but it will be worth it!
Here I am working 2 jobs, trying to get Talan to work and babysitting mom! I never dreamed after a certain age I would grow up and have to “raise” my mom. It is like a senior citizen body with childlike tantrums.
I am exhausted between arguing with my husband, babysitting mom, little sleep and 2 jobs I feel like Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas! I am stitched with good intentions but sometimes I simply need to fall apart and rebuild myself again.. In life I am going through my resewing phase someday I will be whole again.