summer mouse, winter mouse in 1% better

  • Feb. 18, 2021, 10:10 a.m.
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  • Public

It’s hard to remember the years in high school. It was a long time but a long time ago. Back then it was about one-third of my whole life. Now I can just remember little fragments and scenes as if watching myself act in a movie. I don’t remember how I felt back then.
It would be so great to go back in time and relive it all over again.

The same is true for the University years, a smaller percentage of my total life then and smaller now. I do have a memory of feelings, the feelings of loneliness and the feelings of invincibleness, the ying and yang of the next ten years.

Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is a mystery
— A bumper sticker on the back of a cobalt blue Toyota Prius

I’m living more in the past lately. I don’t like it. Like that bumper sticker infers, the future is what’s important. Yet I’m stalled in a Canadian snowbank. Tino Bernard may be sitting pretty in his Lakeshore Cape Cod, retired now from a life lived well and fully, but I’m not done yet.

I used to spend my afternoons jumping into barrels and my evenings tagging pygmies. My nighttimes, I would spend storming enemy lines and then bayoneting the wounded, like I’m in Belgium 100 years ago - a small but nicely formed country, a nice country but not well placed in terms of good neighbours. Poland is like that too. So is Ukraine. You need big mountains and raging rivers to keep people out.

Unless I have miss-counted, there are only 11 more days until March 1st. That is my call up. I will put on a uniform and get into the trenches. I’ve kept myself busy over the past 90 days with this and other things but it will be time soon again to start living in the future.


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