The cheese of expectation in 1% better

  • Feb. 15, 2021, 10:25 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

I hear about the decline of the American male, white males to be more specific. I think, what a waste. Suicide. Poisoning themselves with opioids and alcohol. Bad politics. Overweight and undereducated. Guns. Trucks. Walmart. Drive throughs. Trump. Conservative. TV sports. Liberty. They bought into a lifestyle and then someone moved their cheeses, Kraft singles in their case, maybe cheese whiz. I have a low opinion.

There is a shortage of cheesemakers in Canada, pastry chefs too. Our immigration levels which were historic until the pandemic are at an all-time low.
In the USA there is an oversupply of cheese.
Everything is out of balance.

I haven’t got anything against lactose. I am very tolerant of cheeses. Soft or hard, round, triangular or rectangular…they are all ok with me. I feel the same way about people. Like cheeses, they all have their unique characteristics and some I like better than others. And like cheeses, some go better with different things than others. I won’t go into details, I don’t want to appear bigoted to a marginalized soft French variety or favourable to Cheddar or Havarti. You have to be so careful these days.

I have a horde of European cheeses amassing in my dairy drawer. Trips to the Central Fresh Market and Costco have me all stocked up. Always a minimalist, the pandemic has me stockpiling foodstuffs, buying in bulk, two cases of wine last week. I’m waiting for the pandemic to end but waiting in high style.

I’m going to have to call up the fondu forks to secure the kitchen. The corkscrews are organizing a flanking maneuver.

Charles de Gaulle, France’s second most famous leader once asked, “How can anyone govern a nation that has two hundred and forty-six different kinds of cheese?”
“Get the Brie on your side and you are half way there,” I say.


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