I’ve been around long enough. This is not my first rodeo. I can always tell when I’ve gone wrong, often before the people I’m with have realized it. I spot the body language. Tell tale giveaways. Crossed arms. Indirect glances. Questions that lead me away from where I want to go. Tension levels rise. When I find myself talking more than listening, I know I’ve lost control of the dance. I am following, not leading. The party is over. Can I win back the power? Probably not.
Back to basics. I’m way out of practice.
Several years ago I signed myself up for some very expensive and unusual sales training. Sandler Sales Training. It is based on transactional analysis, the three mental states we all make decisions with, the child, the parent and the adult. Back in the late 60s there was a book, I’m ok, You’re ok, that explained this quite well.
As an aside, when is the last time a pop psychology phenomenon blew through society? Echart Toll?
Anyway, its hard to get back to work when the playing field has changed. I blame myself and I’m certainly partly to blame. I’m rusty, out of practice. But also with covid and other things, the rules of play, the field of play, as well as the players have all changed. I have to find a way to adapt.
I’m old now. I don’t have the energy I once had. I don’t have the drive. I have nothing to prove. I have money in the bank and aspirations of laziness and idleness.
In Kaohsiung I leap the maze instead of going through it. That’s what’s rewarding. Cheating and getting away with it. I can make my own rules. I can find a happy place, with a harbour and a mountain full of monkeys, fresh fruit and the freedom, peace and will to just be in the moment. In Canada, life is so much more complicated.
It’s isolated and cold.