The Socials in These Foolish Things

  • Feb. 9, 2021, 5:20 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

This morning I shared my diagnosis on socials (IG and FB). It took me over 24 hours to actually pull the trigger on the post. I debated and debated on whether or not it was time to go public with this because I only have questions and no real answers, but this morning I literally could no longer hold it in. I was bursting and freaking and spinning.

I told you I can’t keep my mouth shut when it comes to my personal issues (unless it involves a dude, then I only write about it here because rule #1 of socials is to NOT air your dirties or heartbreaks, right?!)

ANYWAY. I pulled that trigger and opened that gate and the notes and texts and calls flooded in.

I can’t even believe how many people had stories of their friends or family members who got through their own personal journeys and have seen themselves on the other side. I’ve had soooo many offers of help and just general support that I’m really glad I’m doing this.

I even got a message from a FB friend I consider more of an acquaintance telling me that she was diagnosed with breast cancer a few days ago and is still saying WTF and not sharing just yet but wants to confide in me. I’m absolutely touched that she did.

I don’t know how much I’ll want to share. I don’t know what it’s going to look like. I don’t know how ugly this thing might get (or not!) and I honestly don’t want to know right now.

My psychiatrist friend called today to tell me to research only the things that will make me feel comfortable: what goodies to have in the house when I come home; what kind of wipes to have on hand or whatnot. What are the best practices for the most supreme ease and comfort.

He told me that it’s OK to be taking my valium to ease the anxiety (I’ve actually been drinking the wine, prob not a good idea - I’m switching tomorrow…after tonight).

And I’m thinking about maybe taking a staycation after the hospital stay - a nice boutique hotel or something just so I don’t have to worry about any dishes in the sink or doing any laundry. Haven’t decided on that yet - especially since I don’t know how long I will be in the hospital.

Regardless, there are moments I feel calm and good and warm inside. And then there are moments when I wonder how the world stopped spinning and yet I’m still held here by gravity.

Am I being dramatic?

I’m having such an existential crisis.

Okay. I need to go. The weather’s gonna get bad and I need to get home and plan…

Until next blab session,

pandora February 09, 2021

I don't think you're being dramatic, no. It's a huge thing - a huge, somehow common thing? Isn't that strange - it's something that so many people have gone through, we've all been touched by it, and yet you certainly never expect it to happen to you. What a good idea, researching what to have at home, etc. It's an awful time to be going through something like this; is there anyone you'd feel comfortable letting into your bubble to help you afterwards?

Ginger Snap pandora ⋅ February 10, 2021

My Best Bud is helping me TREMENDOUSLY. She's taking a day off work and I'm sure will be by several times. It's weird to think that I don't have a partner during this time. It makes me feel...I don't even know! But certainly Best Bud is always welcome. I don't think my parents would be comfortable at my place. It's a small apartment and seating is not made for comfy lounging (I do that on my bed). I'm working on it!

Gangleri February 09, 2021

This is a hugely personal thing. I don’t think there’s any way to not be dramatic with it.

Elaine Benes February 09, 2021

I’m so glad to hear from you here! You’re not being dramatic at all. But I would talk to your docs some more before booking any boutique hotels. It sounds like a great idea but you might be more comfortable at home.

Ginger Snap Elaine Benes ⋅ February 09, 2021

True... maybe overthinking things.

Florentine February 09, 2021

I think it’s natural to vary widely between “I got this” and “wtf, universe!” during times of extreme stress or grief. You’re handling it exactly the way you should and I know we’re all happy to help! So if, in your research, you find having a meal train set up, or establishing a way to get you the things you need from afar lightens your load or make the logistics easier, please do let us know!

The Thirsty Oriental February 09, 2021

I don't think you're being dramatic at all. Thinking of you! ❤️

plushcreep February 09, 2021

Dramatic? Not by a longshot. I'd be 1,000x worse probably. I'm impressed with how you're handling this, not to mention your willingness to be open and share your journey with others. <3

Deleted user February 09, 2021

Not dramatic at all. It seems like when we share our troubles a lot of people come out to say that they went through it too. It helps to know that people understand.

echopod February 09, 2021

I don’t know how to do this Covid safe, but maybe hire a cook/cleaner/assistant/nurse type person for the week? Comfy at home yet no work, is what I’m thinking. Not sure how.

bobbi01 February 10, 2021

You need to do whatever is right for you.

Complicated Disaster February 10, 2021

Of course people care!! <3 xx

Ginger Snap Complicated Disaster ⋅ February 10, 2021

I know. It's not that I doubted, it's that it fills my heart.

Jinn February 10, 2021

You are being strong and brilliant . You are entitled to be how ever you feel . Hugs!

Ginger Snap Jinn ⋅ February 10, 2021

Thank you so much.

.bob February 10, 2021

Posting on social is brave and human and perfect, I think. You are the kind of person that gets energy from your people, and you opened the door to it. So I don't think it's dramatic at all. I also think the option of hiring a cook/cleaner/helper is a great idea. Or even setting up a ready-made meal delivery service?

WhatDreamsMayCome February 10, 2021

You're not being dramatic.

gemidevi February 10, 2021

You are not being dramatic, but why shouldn't you be dramatic! This is your body and your life! I'd be dramatic and no one should ever fault you or judge you for that.

Do what will bring you peace.

mrs.r February 10, 2021

I have been reading you for years, but don't note. I really am sending you good vibes, positivity and prayers. My Best Friend just beat breast cancer for the 2nd time. I know you can beat yours too! Hang in there!!!

Marg February 11, 2021

I don’t think you’re being dramatic in the slightest - I’m sure I would be full of the exact same emotions.

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