Life in 2021 in Staying Connected

  • Jan. 6, 2021, 1:18 p.m.
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  • Public

Good morning!

Today is the day that I quit the job that I’ve worked at for the past 18 months. It’s pretty crazy, but I expect it to go smoothly. My plan is to write a really ass-kiss letter about how grateful I am. It will be mostly true. I’ll leave out the part about feeling betrayed. I predict I’ll get a warm goodbye. I also plan to be a little sneaky about moving my clients over to my new job. If my boss had been honest with me about her motivations and actions, then I would be too. I’m just following her lead.

Katie text messaged me yesterday to wish my daughter a happy birthday and to ask if I want her to host a virtual (or in person) baby shower for my fetus. I did my best to tell her that her offer won’t be necessary. I didn’t even tell her I was pregnant. She found out on Facebook just like everyone else who I don’t consider part of my inner circle. Part of me know that its my fault for not directly cutting ties, but part of me is also frustrated when she does things that make me think, take a hint, Katie!

She expressed to me that she has been deeply depressed, and even momentarily suicidal recently. I checked to see if she was currently feeling suicidal, which she denied, and then I resumed trying to end our conversation as quickly and quietly as possible. I don’t think she would really kill herself, but I also don’t want to be presumptuous. That would be the worst thing I can imagine. I do want to end our friendship, but I would feel awful if something like that happened. Most of me thinks it’s a ploy to get my attention. Last time I ended our friendship, she claimed to be deeply depressed too. While we were friends, she often claimed to be anxious, but not depressed like that. I don’t know what to believe, but I also don’t feel like it’s my responsibility to address.

I know I probably sound like a broken record, but I’m feeling pretty optimistic about the next few months. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I feel optimistic about the year, but at least I know what my plan is and how I expect it to play out right now.

I had a meeting with my new boss yesterday, and she’s been very reassuring toward me. I had made some mistakes on my timesheets in December, and she took ownership over her lack of presence for the past month and the fact that it has taken her this long to address the mistake, which made me feel that much less guilty about it. She didn’t say anything to reprimand me or anything like that. She just asked for my assistance in correcting the mistake. I take all of this as a good sign.

I really, really, really hope my hours get approved. According to their Facebook page, the BBS is currently processing applications submitted on the week of October 19, and my application arrived on November 17. So, I’m thinking, if they do get approved, I’ll find out about it sometime next month. Tomorrow, however, is when I plan to start studying for my licensing exam. Ahhh!

I still don’t really know what our plan is for getting a house. Hopefully this aspect of the future starts to make more sense as the months unfold.

Well, I’m about to eat lunch and chip away at my to-do list. I was actually able to MAKE a to-do list this morning. Things have been so shaky around here the past few months, I’ve barely even been able to organize what I need to do. It feels really good to have a clear idea of what’s on the agenda again.

Hope everyone out there is enjoying 2021 so far.

<3


Last updated January 06, 2021


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