You need to set boundaries and follow through with them. If you keep letting people in your life control you, it will never stop and you'll never get a break. Tell your mom no, set up a time once a month where you take her to get her stuff done (if you want). If she throws a fit or won't stop texting or calling, temporarily block her number. You're a grown woman, there is nothing she can do. Stand up for yourself with your mom and your husband. I guarantee you're stronger than you think.