Right now one of the few thoughts that brings me relief is the belief that I am going to feel better in about 3 weeks (when I hit my second trimester) and then, from that point forward, I will never have to deal with this again. This is, of course, assuming that this pregnancy goes full term and ends with a healthy baby. My husband and I agreed that we only want two kids, so this should be the last first trimester of pregnancy for the rest of my life! Thank god.
Today was another rough day. My daughter decided to step her game up. She came in our room at 7am this morning (which is usually fine, because my husband will leave with her), only this time she walked in already crying, insisting that I go watch cartoons with her. I made it very clear that she could come lie in bed with me or go watch cartoons with daddy. Those were her options. Instead of choosing one, she proceeded to stand in front of me, working herself up to snot and tears, screaming, begging me to come with her. I eventually got fed up and added timeout to the list of options, and when she didn’t choose one I just threw her in time out.
It is not okay to come in my room and demand I get up. I am the parent, not her.
After her timeout she agreed to watch cartoons with daddy. Unfortunately, that only lasted for about 20 minutes or so? And then she came back in my room and “agreed” to lie down with me. When my husband saw that, he took it as an opportunity to take his morning crap. My daughter, of course, only lay with me peacefully for about a minute and a half, and then she wanted me to get up again. This time, with my husband in the bathroom, I couldn’t really provide her with many options. At first I lie there while she was running back and forth between my bedroom and the living room, and eventually I dragged my ass out of bed—not ready to start the day on any level.
I thought that would be the end of it, but I was sadly mistaken. I made myself breakfast and before I could eat it my daughter was begging me to spoon feed her shredded cheese. I told her I could feed her when I was done eating, and she planted herself in front of me and continued to scream and cry. I did my best to ignore her, but at that point about ¾ of my day had been listening to her screaming and crying (while not being well rested and not having eaten). My patience was running extremely thin.
After my husband finished crapping he came out, I finished eating my breakfast and feeding the kid cheese, and then I went to lie back down again. Since then, I’ve really just had a hard time getting my head screwed on straight.
Can I start over?
Last updated December 12, 2020