Outsmarting My Toddler (harder than it sounds) in Staying Connected

  • Dec. 8, 2020, 9:10 p.m.
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  • Public

Well, it’s official. My fetus has a heartbeat.

In other news, my kid has really been testing her limits with myself and my husband. Man. A few days after we changed her crib into a toddler bed, she realized that, after we put her to bed, she can get back out. The first couple of times it was actually pretty cute, because she just came waltzing down the hallway with the biggest, proudest smile on her face. But after that it very rapidly became not very cute at all. When we reiterated that it was bedtime, she started pulling out the big guns—the screaming, the thrashing around, snot everywhere, hyperventilating. It was a mess.

I lost track of exactly what happened on what night and how many nights it took, but during one of the nights she swung her face into one of our end tables, and she is now sporting a massive black-and-blue line that goes right down the middle of one of her cheek bones. It was after that incident that it occurred to me: we could use “time out” to get our message across.

After that, when she came out of her room, I would intercept her before she could insist that she needed another book or more milk or whatever bullshit she could come up with, and I would tell her “You can go back to bed, or you can go to time out. Do you want to go back to bed?” If she said no or refused to answer, I would just put her back in time out (which is just sitting on a rocking chair in the corner of her room). Of course, she would arch her back and refuse to sit on the chair, but that didn’t stop me. I’d just flop her on there however she landed and then run out of her room, shut the door, hold it closed, and practice deep breathing while counting to 60. Then we’d do the whole routine over again. The first night we implemented this strategy, it went on for over two hours like this.

Luckily, by night two she decided it wasn’t in her best interest to drag it out that long again, and she only fought it for 10-15 minutes. Last night, she only came out one time, and when I asked her if she wanted to go back to bed, she said okay. Thank God.

Yesterday I took my daughter with me and we visited with my friend Terra and her son. It was the second time we went over there, and my daughter and my friend’s son started to actually play together pretty well. My daughter has played with my husband’s cousin’s son before, but this was the first time that I really saw her playing with the child of one of my own childhood friends, and it was really insane to think about. I looked at Terra and was like, “I can’t believe our children are playing together.”

Terra was like, “and we’re both pregnant.” Ha! Crazy.

I never wrote about it, but a few days ago I went out to a patio dinner with my friends Anja and Marina, and I told them about my concerns about being a bad friend to Terra. They would not have it. They said a bunch of things to try to challenge my beliefs, but the thing that really made me feel better was when they said that they KNOW, if they needed me, I would be there for them. And that counts for just as much as anything. I was like, that is absolutely true. If one of my loved ones needed me, I would drop everything. And I can say that with total confidence. So I feel a lot better now.

Plus, I did write Terra an email and put together a cute basket for her new baby, and she told me that she wouldn’t even keep me around if she didn’t think I was a wonderful person.


Last updated December 08, 2020

JustSurviveSomehow December 08, 2020

So happy to hear about the heartbeat! When is your due date? That sounds absolutely exhausting what you had to go through with your daughter, but it sounds like the worst of it is over. Fingers crossed!

Original Rose JustSurviveSomehow ⋅ December 09, 2020

I’m due sometime in July. My ultrasound today predicts July 14th.

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