Oh, Hi in Staying Connected

  • Nov. 23, 2020, 11 p.m.
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Hello friends,

Let’s see. What do I have to report today? Well, I’m coming up on week 7 (out of, hopefully, 40) of pregnancy, and symptoms are starting to ramp up. I have two modes lately: tired and queasy, or tired and hungry. I’m not a fan of either.

The other big symptom is my daughter. I think I mentioned that she stopped wanting to nap a few weeks ago. We had figured out a way to trick her—to tell her that I’m taking a nap—and that worked for a while. But she’s onto us now, and I don’t know what we’re going to do. The days she doesn’t nap are brutal. Thirteen hours straight of having to be emotionally tuned in to another human is draining as fuck.

The good news is that, other than me having to be emotionally tuned in to her, she’s pretty low maintenance. All she seems to want in life is to be next to me. Today during what should have been her naptime, we went through three stages.

There was the first stage, which lasted about 30 minutes, of her scream-crying in her crib. I told my husband that I was down to let her cry for at least an hour. I was so tired that my body felt weak and my mind felt blurry. Usually listening to her cry is so anxiety inducing that my body aches, but this time I was like… I just can’t. My husband was the one who cracked. He couldn’t take it.

The second stage was negotiation. I told her she could “take a nap with mommy” in my bed, and if she didn’t lay there quietly she’d have to go back in her crib. This made her fucking day. She went from crying like she was being slowly tortured to death to being all smiles in bed with me. And to her credit, she was quiet for a pretty long time. She doesn’t, however, have any track record whatsoever of being able to sleep in bed with me, and that did not change today.

Finally, the third stage of naptime was the pack ‘n play, which we haven’t used in well over a year. I decided to pull it out of our closet and set it up at the foot of the bed. I threw my daughter in there with her blankets and a few books and told her that mommy was going to take a nap. I was glad to get close to thirty minutes to lie in my bed by myself while she, happy just to be near me, played by herself in the pack ‘n play.

Of course, even that wasn’t near what I needed in order to feel well rested. When I finally gave up on naptime, I still felt exhausted, and all I could think about was the days ahead that I’m going to be with this girl. Usually I send her to grandma’s on Wednesdays, but not this week. And I’m not working on Thursday, either (obviously). So, especially if she continues to not nap, I just don’t know how I’m going to make it.

Other than that, I’ve just been going through the motions. Saturday was supposed to be our monthly chore day, but my husband was clever and waited until that day to try on clothes for our photo shoot on Sunday (even though I talked to him about this weeks ago). Spoiler alert, he didn’t have anything appropriate. So instead of cleaning our home, we went shopping to get a new outfit for him. In his defense, that didn’t take all day. But I’m running real low on fumes these days, so that was it for me. Chore day didn’t happen. I did finish all of my Christmas shopping (online) for my side of the family, though. So it’s nice to be able to cross that off my list.

I still need to buy gifts for my daughter and my husband, but I think I pretty much know what I’m getting them. I just have to figure out how I’m going to store everything between now and Christmas.

Sunday our daughter was baptized. It went well. I can’t think of anything really worth noting. Afterwards we went to take photos by the lighthouse. I think we got some workable photos. Then we made our pregnancy announcement to our parents. They’re all happy. Our moms cried. We finally went back home to rest around 2:30pm. That was the first day that our daughter decided that “mommy napping” wasn’t a good enough reason to cooperate and take a nap herself. My husband and I had both been really counting on that nap. We were walking zombies the rest of the day. If our daughter wasn’t so damn adorable, I think we would have been pretty angry. Fortunately for her, we’re both little softies when it comes to her charming face.

Today my daughter and I went grocery shopping first thing in the morning. We normally go on Sunday, but, as I just mentioned, Sunday was pretty booked this week. After that I had to go get LiveScan fingerprints done (for my old job, oddly enough). My only other goal for the day was to do the dishes and clean up our condo, which has been slowly deteriorating over the past few days. Again, this is usually a Sunday goal. This pretty much catches us back up to where this entry started, which was my daughter not taking a nap. So, as you may have guessed, dishes didn’t happen today. Our kitchen is a hot mess, and I’m not even ashamed of it. I have an excuse, and I will for the next eight to nine months.

Once my husband finished working, we all decided to go on a family walk. So that was good. We haven’t been getting as much physical activity into our lives lately. It’s been tough, though. Again, I’m not ashamed. We’re doing our best.

That’s all for tonight. Until next time <3

Last updated November 23, 2020

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