How often do you see your family? in 2020

  • Nov. 18, 2020, 9:56 a.m.
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  • Public

Pre-pandemic. I’m curious how often people talk with their family and/or see them. Does your family ever have a problem with the amount you see them (or don’t see them).

A few years ago, when I was single and working closer to my family- I would see them 3 days a week. Now days (when safe to do so)- I see them once a week. I call my mom 5 days a week. I usually talk with my sisters on a pretty daily basis on chat (we have a group message with sisters and mom). And now with pandemic, we even add video chatting into the mix.

I THOUGHT that a lot. I thought I was balancing my relationship/home/work responsibilities with family time fairly. They disagree.

I got a comment from my mom the other day that really bugged me. She said something about how if Christmas happens, she’ll need to send me her address being I never go there I probably forgot where she lived.

She’s right. I don’t ever go there… because she’s ALWAYS over my sister’s house and if I need to see her, I need to go there. To be fair, in summer- I would because we could all be outside and be safer. Now we’re all stuck inside and I don’t think it’s smart to be hanging around everyone for no reason. We’re all pretty safe. I’m distanced at work (as is Andy). My sister works from home and sees no one. My mom is retired and sees no one. But my other sister is in bars, gas stations, restaurants, stores etc DAILY. She goes over to my mom’s nonstop (and my mom lets it happen…).

BUT EVEN BEYOND THE PANDEMIC. Let’s pretend that’s not even a thing (ugh i wish)…
Not even bringing that into the factor…
I’m just annoyed that I feel guilty for not spending every single second of my free time with them. I love my family, so much. But I work 45 hours every week, try to maintain a household (cooking, cleaning, projects, yard, etc) and spend time with Andy. Life is busy. I don’t know exactly what they want me to do.

DE_mkately November 18, 2020

they're crazy. esp in a pandemic. nope.

colojojo November 18, 2020

Pre pandemic... I think you talked with and saw your mom pretty often! That sounds like a lot. But everyone’s different. I have a friend at work who called her mom on her lunch break every single day, and went home every weekend that she wasn’t working, and it’s 2 hours away. She would go on a Saturday morning and come back Sunday night or Monday morning (working 2nd shift). To me, that’s overkill, but her mom is pretty much her best friend. So I get it. I, myself, have always been a very independent person and I probably talk to them once every 2 weeks and see them once every month or every 2 months if I’m lucky.

During this pandemic... I think you are being safe. I know it’s easy to feel guilty for not spending time with loved ones. There’s judgment. There’s pressure. But honestly, you are doing the best thing for your family by limiting hour interaction with them. You’re keeping them safe. That’s what so many people don’t understand.

sedentary November 18, 2020

Don't feel bad - my mom is a 5 minute walk from my house and I never go lol. But we're on a group chat with my sis so we're talking and video chatting all the time - I really don't need to be sitting across from her to know how her day is going.

she shines November 18, 2020

I live 7 hours to my nearest family member. I see my sisters 1-2 times a year usually, my mom 2-3. I talk to them all pretty much daily though via phone or text.

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