SO many things to talk about... in 2020

  • Nov. 2, 2020, 9:47 p.m.
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  • Public

and I don’t even know where to start!

So, following up on Andy’s ex and the whole COVID thing. Apparently her test results came back negative so we ended up with his daughter over the weekend. That was the agreement. If she came back negative, we would take her. If no results, no kiddo.

Andy picked her up from the ex’s on Friday and when we went to leave, his car wouldn’t start. He called his dad to come jump it. Once his dad got there, he didn’t think a jump would do it so they called a tow truck. When the tow dude came, he said it’s prob just a battery so he jumped it and it started. Andy went and got a battery put in then headed home. We ate dinner right away when he got home and then I was told that his daughter had homework to do. It was about 8:30 at this point and it was all dude that night. This was the last day.

Can we all just remember that HER MOM WAS OFF OF WORK ALL WEEK WAITING FOR COVID RESULTS. Do you not think she could of actually did her daughter’s school work with her? It’s not even that you have to do it WITH her, just make her do it....
I do nottttttttttttttttt understand.

Because at this point, I’m tired. I slept like shit all week long. We were throwing a mini Halloween party for her on Saturday so I was cleaning all day Thursday and Friday after work to make sure things were in order. Around 9:30… I just wanted to go to bed but girl still needed to do GYM CLASS.... at 9:30 at night. See. She might not have a bedtime with her mother but she does here.

We found out that instead of being home… in quarantine waiting her results.... her mom took her TO THE ZOO. And to her boyfriends house. And who knows where else. Hi. This is why this thing is never going to go away. Thankfully she was negative but still. People are dumb.

Anyway. Eventually around 10:30, girl went to bed. We went shortly after. I woke up at 5 because that’s just what I seem to do lately. I had a quiet few hours to myself while they slept. I played some Animal Crossing. Andy woke up and played and I started setting up for the party.

The game plan was to go to my sister’s at 2 because there was some social distancing trick or treating. I showered around 12 and got ready then started to get girl ready. Andy started getting ready at like 1:30 which included him having to poop which takes FOREVER so immediately I knew we’d be late. I’m trying to get her ready while still trying to finish stuff for me and he’s in the shower and just… I’m irritated because we’re late. I’m telling him we’re late and asking him why he couldn’t have gotten ready sooner so he could tell me, etc etc. I’m just rushing and stuff.

We finish her and leave around 2:15.
We go to my sisters for just a little bit. We get back to my house around 3. I had candy to pass out but… my streets were empty. There were no trick or treaters. Eventually after about 5ish- the trick or treating is over so a few family members come over for the mini party (they were all safe and stuff shhhh).
I just had a few little mini games planned, prizes, ordered food, etc.

Anyway. We ate. We did a few games. Pin the face on a Velcro pumpkin, get bugs out of a cobweb and guess what in a blacked out box (we put cooked spaghetti in one, jello, fuzzy toy, scrambled egg, crushed oreo with gummy worms, and olives). I thought they’d be freaked out by that. NOT AT ALL. You see these stupid YouTube videos of adults doing it and freaking out but nope. They didn’t care. Lol. Then I bought a cookie decorating kit. So yeah.

There was a point when Andy was trying to find scissors and they weren’t in the drawer they were supposed to be in. I was busy doing something and he asked me where they were. I told him I didn’t know and to check the drawer. He said he did and they weren’t there. I asked him if he could just use the other scissors in there that he doesn’t like. He said no. So I stopped what i was doing, opened the drawer of the ones he didn’t like and in there were the pair that he DID like. I said, “See what actually happens when you look for something?” and he says, “Well they weren’t in the place they are supposed to be.” My mom was sitting next to his daughter and said something about how we were fighting over scissors and she said, “That’s all they ever do is fight… if Danielle doesn’t get her way, it’s a fight.”

It just blows my mind because we LEGITMATELY NEVER EVEN FOUGHT once. Not a legit fight. If we’re in our feelings or upset about something, we talk about it but we never once raised our voices or argued. But the whole, “If Danielle doesn’t get her way, it’s a fight” thing REALLY bothered me. She said something about earlier in the day how we were fighting because we were late. We didn’t even FIGHT. I was maybe telling him to hurry up and help me. Maybe nagging a little bit about how we’re late but it wasn’t a fight. Maybe nagging to her is me fighting because I’m not getting my way but… I don’t do “late.” I’m always on time. If anything, she should be taught better not to accept being late because it’s disrespectful to the people waiting on you. (She’s ALWAYS late because she’s so pokey).

We have a goofy relationship where we’ll fake fight, like wrestle/box but obviously it’s not real. It doesn’t even look real. We’re laughing the entire time. So I don’t know. I just don’t know where she got that.

Anyway. Throughout the party she kept asking when it was going to be over. I asked her why and she said her costume was bugging her. I told her she could change into something more comfortable, as we both told her before the party started. She said she’d wait. I suspected she didn’t want to change, she just wanted her iPad.

Once everyone did leave, she was on iPad before the front door even closed. I went to the bathroom to get ready for bed and I hear her out in the living room talking to Andy and she said, “God that party lasted way longer than I thought it would”.

It was 4 hours. FOUR hours. I just don’t get it. I spent a lot of time and money on this that I did FOR HER. I wouldn’t have had this if we didn’t have her. I probably spent over $250 on it. Not once a thank you. Not once a “I had fun”. Just… “God that took forever.”

I just felt defeated.
I also did tell Andy what she said about us fighting because he didn’t hear it. He had a talk with her that night.

Anyway. We went to bed. Next morning I was up at 6. Yay, got to sleep in -_-
I went out on the couch and Andy came shortly after. He played some AC and I passed out on his lap. I woke up a few hours later. She was in her bedroom playing her iPad.

Her mom eventually came to pick her up at 5pm. She spent the entire day on her iPad. She stopped twice to eat for a few minutes. I’m not saying anything anymore. I’ve tried to do things to get her away from her iPad and she never seems to enjoy them. Andy tries sometimes but in the end… she just gets her iPad. Whatever. This my second attempt that I failed at and I really don’t want to try anymore. Maybe once COVID is over and we can actually go outside and do stuff but clearly I fail at the indoor stuff.

So I just felt really bad after that weekend. I know a few of you who have gotten into relationships with guys who have kids and it’s like you immediately bond with the kids and you’re as close as ever and I just… don’t feel like that. I’m not sure if the age has anything to do with it (she’s 9). I mean. We get along just fine. There’s never any issues between us but I don’t know. There’s just not that bond there… and I feel like I’m doing something wrong.

What else. I wanted to write about a few things.

My boss sent me a resume of a girl who might apply for my “right hand man” … and it’s fucking impressive. Like. I’m reading this and thinking there’s no reason why they shouldn’t hire this girl and can me. To be honest, she’s probably overly qualified. They said they’d see if she’s reasonable but I just can’t see them hiring her in at what they hired me in at. I honestly thought if they were looking for an assistant for me, they’d kind of go younger, less experience so lesser pay. This girl is going to be expensive. I don’t know. I just don’t like it.

OKAY ANYWAY. I didn’t even get to everything that I wanted to get to but I don’t want to write anymore.

I will end this on a positive.
NO BACKING OUT NOW (I mean we could but we’d lose $4,000).

Our at home reception is 9-10-22 so… save the date! Hahaha ;P


DE_mkately November 03, 2020

I DEF think it's the age. Chris' son is 11 and all he does is video games. There's literally nothing to bond over. The one day he had to come over for school and he was avoiding his work so he was playing with the dog and that's the only bonding we've ever done and it was at the expense of schoolwork. No one can compete with electronics period, and once they are already that hooked, they care about nothing else. My sweet nephews who are obsessed with me, were like DYING to leave my parents the one day (when I hadn't seen them since March because of covid) and it was their last day and they didn't even care, they just needed to get back to their pjs and tablets.

it sucks :(

sedentary November 03, 2020

I agree - kids of this age are just addicted to electronics like air and they're gonna die without it.
Plus yes the age - it seems the older they are the harder it is to closely bond with them as a parent child relationship. Plus you know how kids think all adults are old fuddy duddy's...

JustSurviveSomehow November 03, 2020

It's probably just a different relationship dynamic than what she is used to seeing. And just seeing someone tell her dad to hurry up, help with this, let's do that, etc. might just be offputting for her. Everyone knows most men can be children and need to have their hands held with some of the simplest things (aka the scissors thing), but that's her dad, and she's probably just a little defensive of him. It doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong though. Don't get discouraged!

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