If I didn’t laugh, I’d be fucking crying. in My Life

  • Oct. 21, 2020, 1:34 p.m.
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  • Public

My cousin just died.

And I didn’t want to go over my family’s house because I didn’t want to hug anyone. 1. Because I work on a COVID unit, and 2. Because I literally just got my nipples pierced Friday and they were still sore

I told my psychiatrist I was having trouble. Not only did my cousin die, I found out why a lady I’d been talking to, stopped texting. Things were good, we were having great conversations. I’m hen she ghosted me.

She literally ghosted. Not just me. The whole world. I read the obituaries every day out of habit. I saw her name. And that hurt.

I went to work Monday. Kept to myself, because I was probably insufferable. Yesterday, I called in. Today, I’m struggling. Crying on my lunch break and stuff. But I’m here.

I told my psychiatrist I was having a really hard time. He prescribed me Xanax. I’m scared of this stuff. Heard it was strong? Even though he gave me a very low dose. Maybe I’ll cut one in half.

Just gotta make it til 4. That’s two hours and 27 minutes from now. Then I can go to yoga tonight.

Just gotta make it a little while longer.


girl in recession October 21, 2020

hugs hang in there. you got this. i am so sorry for all of the loss you're experiencing. you deserve the biggest hug ever and I'm sorry you cant get one :(

toddslife October 21, 2020

So sorry for your losses.

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