So much pain. Why do i try? in ?

Between tooth pain and pms I am so miserable. I am sitting in my car crying because my husband keep asking me to wait for his break so we can talk about bills we can’t afford to pay. I need a warm shower to ease the pain just for a while. Every month I want to die and every month I remind myself pmdd is a bitch that life isn’t as bad as I think it is I am just hormonal. Every month for 20 years of my life for 14 days every month I am in so much pain. I asked the doctor for a hysterectomy he said I have to have 3 kids and a letter from my husband giving me permission to have a hysterectomy. Wtf. He has get a vasectomy without my permission. Why make it difficult?

I refuse to call into work no matter how bad I hurt. My bosses know sometimes I hide in the bathroom and cry. I dry my tears and keep working. They said they have no idea how I do it.. I don’t either.

Tonight I am brewing cbd tea and soaking in an Epson salt bath. I bet you my bath will see many tears. I simply can’t go on like this.

I am irritated because of pms and at my husbands work they decided to be 2 weeks late paying him his paycheck. We got to somehow use my $400 for all my bills. This is impossible. I feel like a failure.I just want to cry so I do..in the dark by myself.

Life will get better right? 7 more days of hell. Aunt Flo will be gone and I will handle life better once more!..I hope.