IF you can follow this. It’ll be a lot. It’ll be confusing. I’ll try to make it easy.
SO YOU ALL KNOWWWWWWWW MY SIL IS CRAZY. (And you all probably knew this would be involving her. Hahaha). I like to give a small “in case you missed it…” for those who are not aware of her shit but man I just can’t get into all of it. It’s exhausting. But I NEED to explain some stuff beforehand.
5-6ish years ago, my brother wanted a divorce. He became friends with a guy and his wife J. Brother (A) was going through a lot of crap with his wife. Eventually things blew up, brother decided to stay with wife and we found out from the friend’s wife J some of the shit that SIL was doing to my brother (hiding keys so he couldn’t go to work, stealing phone, calling him worthless/fat, not allowing him to take food to lunch so J would make him lunches, SIL wouldn’t get up in the mornings to get 5 and 8 year old ready for school so they did it themselves. Eventually SIL admitted to me she cheated, got pregnant, aborted baby. J did not tell me that. Anyway. J is a FB friend still. (We hung out with her a lot when my brother was going through this stuff).
Anyway. A month back- I already wrote about this but- SIL decided to get a FB again and messaged me asking if we could “be friends”. I accepted, for my brother. He was very distant lately and I miss him. We chatted a little bit on FB for a few days. I was nice even though I hate the girl.
Then my engagement happened and she went off that I didn’t personally message her to tell her the news. I told her to stop making this about her and let me enjoy JUST GETTING ENGAGED. She continued to go off telling me she couldn’t be happy for me because I don’t include her. (It’s my fucking engagement girl, did you want to be next to him on your knee too or what?)
I blocked and deleted her.
Saw her next weekend, didn’t say a word to her.
Saw her last weekend, was nice and civil but didn’t go out of my way to make convo.
Brother FB friend requested me, I accepted. He texted me and my sisters saying that SIL wanted to request us but she was blocked (uhhh yeah here’s your sign).
Sister messaged him back saying, “I will unblock her but I seriously cannot have any drama. I also don’t want any negativity on my page because I have a lot of colleagues on here. I hope you understand”.
I didn’t say anything but I unblocked. She added us both, other sister didn’t say anything or unblock.
My sister sends me this:
“I didn’t have to send them but I did…” starting off great.
THEN immediately she starts on us being FB friends with J still.
Says the girl who friend requested MY friends when she’s met them maybe twice. We hung out with J more than she did, probably.
But my thing is… she BLAMES J for “almost destroying my family” when the girl didn’t do anything. She shared some info about you. Don’t blame others for things you caused.
My sister responded:
She likes to throw out “toxic” a lot now because I told her last year that she was a toxic person so now she deems everyone/everything toxic. Hi. Do you want a mirror?
So then I get a TEXT MESSAGE to me and my mom from SIL…
I’m at work not responding to any of this. My mom has no idea what’s going on so shes in the purple.
“I’m okay with them being friends but WHY ARE THEY HURTING ME SO MUCH WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS BESIDES WISH YOU (MOM) DEAD, CHEAT ON THEIR BROTHER, CALL THEM FAT LESBIANS, ATTACK THEM ANY CHANCE I GET, USE MY KIDS AS WEAPONS, THREATEN THEIR JOBS, ETC ETC”
But she thinks that was me so she responded
Betty is my mom’s sister who passed away 22 years ago? Like. This girl doesn’t know and shouldn’t even bring her up. What does my mom’s best friend and sister dying have to do about this.
I again did not respond to anything because I was at work. Then SIL texts me on alone (not with my mom)
Shame on us for actually trying to be nice to her even though ^^^^^^^^^ this is always the result. Shame on us. We’re the toxic ones. Not her, at all. She’s right. She’s great. And she has more to worry about than us? Then STOP. We don’t ask for it. We don’t think about you, stop worrying about what we do.
I’m pretty sure she meant to send that to my brother though. She likes to do that a lot. She pretends to “accidentally” text someone something insulting. Like when she was going off on me and I told her I STILL wish my brother would divorce her ass and she “accidentally” sent me “Oh don’t worry about her, she’s only had one boyfriend she has no idea what a relationship is hahahaha” like it would offend me. Pretty sure my short, almost 2 year relationship is MILES better than yours ever was.
So… during all this, she decides to TEXT my sister (the one who asked not to be involved in any drama).
(Pictures blacked out)
So.... she’s attacking this girl who didn’t say SHIT to her saying people don’t give two shits about her (which is what she meant). She ALWAYS attacks this sister. There was one time my sister didn’t respond to her text fast enough and she went off.
Actually. I think I still have those texts. Hold please.
Totally irrelvant to yesterday’s messages but this is what we’re dealing with and my sister is the one that always gets it worse for some reason when she’s done the most for them. Like the texts say. My sister used to take my nieces (SIL’s kids) on vacation all the time but then sister had the twins so she couldn’t. But god damn.
That message to my sister pissed me off.
During this she’s still going off on my mom but now they’re on private messaging, no longer the group so I don’t know what’s being said. My mom showed me later in the night and SIL was just like ‘YOURE 68 YEARS OLD DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND FEELINGS?”
SIL started messaging me on FB messenger when I wasn’t responding to group text or her other texts. I told her I would respond later and I’m busy at work to just stop messaging me.
After work, I see my brother unfriended me on FB. I was still friends with SIL.
I texted him.
Let me just put it out there that I LOVE MY BROTHER so much. He was the closest one to me growing up. All I put up with from this girl is for him. I want him to be a part of this family again.
Later that night I get this message and decide nope. Not doing it. Not getting into it because I would be mean.
So I blocked her.
Right after I did that, I get a text “from my brother”.
One. You’re involving yourself already when you message me that. And two, what’s wrong with US??? Check your wife.
It’s to the point where- like I said- I love my brother and I just want him to be a part of this family but HE’S BLIND. He doesn’t see half of the shit she says to us, the way she goes off on us, and he sits there and blames us for it. She’s manipulating him SO MUCH and he’s weak.
I don’t exactly know if that was my brother texting me. I don’t put it past her to text as him because she’s done it before. But I’m just done.
This girl has disrespected my family OVER AND OVER AND OVER. And if he wants to defend her- fine. Her own FAMILY doesn’t talk to her because she pulls this shit on them. I’m not putting up with it anymore. She can stayed block and she WILL NOT EVER be unblocked again. He can ask again in a few years and it’ll be NOPE, TRIED WAY TOO MANY TIMES. Unless that girl is heavily medicated for the mental issues she CLEARLY has, I’m done. She refuses help and I refuse to sit around and have that in my life. I didn’t choose her. She’s not my wife. I don’t need to like her.
And on the subject of ridding toxicity in my life- I deleted (ex)BFF from all of my social media. 22 year friendship, done.