I’m currently at the stage in my cycle where I feel like its impossible to keep my condo up to a basic standard of cleanliness. The other day I heard on the radio that millennials only clean their toilets, on average, every four weeks. The radio hosts laughed about how gross that is. And there I am, sitting in my car thinking, damn. I probably clean my toilets, on average, every four months. Yeah.
The bathrooms and the floors are the two things that slip between the cracks. Oh, that and the dining room table. I feel like, unless I really set my mind to it, all I can get done most weeks is the dishes and the laundry. But those three things just get more and more disgusting, and I feel helpless. I’m too drained to do anything about it.
Anyway. This month will be our third time trying to get pregnant using my ovulation app. Last month we had sex at the right time, but it didn’t happen. I suspect it could at least in part be due to my drinking at the time. I’ve cut way back. I also just continue to believe that I’m not good at getting pregnant, despite having done it once before. I genuinely cannot imagine getting a positive pregnancy test. I have no idea where this deep sense of doubt came from. It’s not something that really disturbs me or anything. I think I can continue doing what I’m doing until next summer before I start to develop any kind of distress about it. Until then, we’ll just keep doing our thing and hoping for the best.
Today is Wednesday, which is the day I am supposed to get non-clinical work done for my job. It’s currently 9am, so I’m about to take a shower, get my BBS paperwork in order, and then fingers crossed I can finally get back to making treatment plans—something I’ve been wanting and meaning to do for months now. Wish me luck.
Until next time <3