I’m not saying that because I am writing this entry naked. Although, I am. But mainly because I’m trying to cool off from 70 minutes of Just Dance 4. So I guess that makes me a sweaty whore, at least.
Actually, that game is part of my whorishness. Friends, foes, and other denizens of the Box of Prose, I have a confession to make:
I’m a hypocrite. I am a hypocrite, and Just Dance 4 reminds me of it every time I play. Why? This song:
I’ve spent the last nine years loudly, proudly, declaring my hatred for this song, especially that line, “You don’t know, oh-oh, you don’t know you’re beautiful/That’s what makes you beautiful!”
FUCK THAT NOISE. Like Lizzo said last year “Don’t say it, cuz I know I’m cute!” Or, as Bruno Mars put it, “I gotta kiss myself, I’m so pretty.” I am a nearly 32-year-old woman, and god damn it, I don’t need validation on my looks from a bunch of guys I could have babysat in high school! That is NOT FEMINIST.
But the truth is… I actually, really, really like that song.
I confess. I’ve sung along with it for nine years (in my car, with the windows rolled up, and my A/C running full blast, just in case). When I first bought my Wii and Just Dance 4, that was the first song I played. Well, after “Just Dance” by Lady Gaga, because it seriously took four games before Ubisoft thought to include its namesake?! And today, I unlocked the extreme version. And, of course, my whore ass played it.
For whatever it’s worth, I only got one star. And none of the gold moves.
When I get good enough to add singing to the game, you know this is gonna be the first one I try.
I’m off to put on some clothes and play Super Mario Bros, which I just got today.
I’m a filthy, sweaty, hypocritcal whore, and let this waste of words stand as testament to this fact.