From r/AskReddit: Jeff Bezos leaves you his fortune of $204.6 billion. What do you do with the money?
1. IMMEDIATELY pay all of the taxes the Bald One has so astutely avoided paying for years.
2. Pay all Amazon workers $25 an hour and give them a full benefits package, including health insurance, paid time off, fully-paid maternity and paternity leave for three years each, and employee’s (informed) choice between a 401(k) or an IRA.
3. Contact every single Amazon worker, present and former, who filed a worker’s compensation claim and give them $100,000 a year for the rest of their lives, no questions asked and no strings attached.
4. Donate billions to research and technology to reverse global warming (since Amazon is a major polluter), as well as to environmental protection groups.
5. Buy out Sallie Mae, forgive all the student loans they service, and then dismantle the company, while paying for soon-to-be former Sallie Mae employees to further their education and train for other jobs.
6. Set up the [Pretend Mulling] Fund To End Lunch Debt, Which Should Never Have Existed In The First Place, Come The Fuck On, for all school districts in the United States to use instead of humiliating kids with a cheese sandwich or not feeding them at all (seriously, Americans, why? Why did we ever let “lunch debt” decide if we feed a hungry kid at school? That is child abuse, fight me if you must, but I’m right and you know it.)
7. Set up a scholarship fund for all students, regardless; like, “Hey, you going to college? You need some money? Here you go, full ride to any college in this country, plus enough to pay for your books, parking passes, lab fees, whatever bullshit the college decides to charge you for, and enough to pay for three genuinely nutritious meals a day, seven days a week, plus any medical expenses. All you have to do is go at least part-time and re-submit your application every year, when you fill out your FAFSA. Go wild.”
8. Buy out Tesla, take care of their employees the way I did Amazon’s, and install light rail systems throughout the country, while training people on how to operate and maintain them, and subsidizing the cost of passes for every single customer.
9. Take care of myself and my own, personal debts, but that’s pretty low on my priority list, especially when I’m mainly thinking of ways to try and undo the harm Amazon and Bezos have done, overall.
And honestly, with this list, I don’t think I’ve even theoretically spent a quarter of his fortune. That’s how mind-meltingly rich this fuckhole Bezos is: There is literally no way to spend all of that money. And he didn’t work a day in his life for it; he just made it by buying up all the competition and turning Amazon into a retail mega-monolith.