If they ever name a street after me it’ll have to be either one way or a dead end. I live next to a police officer and he lives next to a parole officer. That makes me either a criminal, or the Mayor. Most of my cases are of the wink and nod variety, so I could be either.
I know that the sand is running out of the summertime egg timer, the sand clock, whatever you call those things, so last week I revisited downtown Krawtown one more time again. I wanted to see just how good or bad things had gotten.
The renaissance of downtown Krawtown must have taken the morning off the day I drive through with too much time on my hands and not enough cash in my pocket. I’ve got my windows open so I can take in all the sights and sounds, like driving through a carnival, and a marauding band of returning soldiers with their entourage of gypsies, whores, and merchants.
Half the people on the sidewalk, I note, are criminals or ex-cons. The other half were indicted but got off maybe on a technicality or perhaps just never got caught yet. Their day will come, hopefully soon before the weather changes to winter.
One thing is certain about Krawtown. The war on poverty is over. Poverty won.
You can’t pretend to be a Kung Fu Master any easier than a Rodeo Clown. You can pretend to be homeless though and for me and my current wardrobe it’s the easiest thing in the world. I get out and stroll around, wearing my multicoloured flower hat that says Puerto Rico, my unkept beard and faded cargo shorts. I fit right in.
As a self described “luggage expert”, I know what size luggage I need. I’ve been called a “good packer”— the secret is to put everything you think you might need on your bed and then purge, purge, fight the urge to keep and purge until you can come off as a minimalist. I like to pack things I don’t mind losing or leaving behind, which is mostly everything I own. I’m getting ready to jump off again to Taiwan. It likely won’t happen but it might.
I speak mandarin like a baby, you know. Me talk pretty one day. That’s my goal.
Last updated August 29, 2020