23.27 in On and On

  • July 31, 2020, 5:37 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

Today has been horrific. The guy I like still hasn’t come online.. does it make it a week? I’m trying with every fibre of my body to convince myself that he hasn’t died, but what else can I do? It feels horrible. I feel like throwing up every part of my body and cutting myself to no end. He’s gone and I can’t go back. I was such a fucking idiot to go to bed. I should’ve stayed up 20 minutes longer, then we could’ve spoken longer. I’m so fucking useless.

I hated breathing today. I broke down in tears from my stomach pains and the pain of not being able to talk to him. People keep telling me that it’s okay but what if he isn’t? How could I just sit there and enjoy my life whilst he’s dead?

My heart is in chaos, and I’m spent just fiddling away to check for message notifications every five minutes. I hate it.

Deleted user July 31, 2020

I'm so sorry, I hope everything works out for you. I'm sorry you're in pain.

Telstar August 02, 2020

People come & go online.

Don't read something into this.

Dark and Twisty August 05, 2020

It can be scary if someone you only know online is absent for a while because there's no way of knowing. But chances are he's fine and just busy with his life. I hope you find out soon.

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