Contagion: Survey Edition in Surveys, Challenges, and Other Crap

  • July 25, 2020, 3:46 a.m.
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  • Public

What is your biggest fear about making a total commitment to someone?
Probably the “long-term” part. I really don’t believe that humans are meant to be in One Relationship Forever; I think we’re more meant to be serial monogamists.

Did you accept or deny your last friend request?
I accepted it. It was from a guy I went to college with, who is total sweetheart.

Was the last person you hugged a male or a female?
Female: my mother.

Do you have a pet fish?
No, but I have thought about starting a little aquarium, once I’m in a place where I have more room. A twenty or thirty-gallon tank to start.

If you could travel back in time, how far would you go?
2016, and I’d shoot Donald Trump in the middle of Fifth Avenue, in the back of the head. You know, both to save the future and to see just how brave his “Second Amendment people” are against the NYPD.

Are you wearing earrings?
No, because my ears aren’t pierced.

Do you straighten your hair?
No need: My hair is fine, thin, and militantly straight.

Do you give out second chances too easily?
Yes.

Did it rain today?
No, but that’s okay; it’s rained overnight almost every night this week. I had to re-pot my herbs because of it; they got flooded.

Do you usually write in cursive or print?
Cursive, usually.

Do you use LimeWire?
I used to use it on an almost daily basis.

Has a friendship ended recently that you wish had not?
No, thankfully.

What happened at 9 AM today?
…I went to McD’s and got a sausage McGriddle and hash brown. And then I went to Starbucks for an iced coffee, because McD’s iced coffee tastes like expired, watered-down farts.

Do you tend to waste a lot of money?
No, mainly because I don’t have enough money to waste. Although, I do kind of feel like my Lush orders were a bit of a waste, since Cosmetic Lad is too heavy a moisturizer, and Light Touch, frustratingly enough, might be too light. I know it was always going to be a crapshoot, but at $45 for Cosmetic Lad and $12 for Light Touch, that’s about half a night’s worth of tips. (Good for me that my deliver driver money is my mad money.)

Do you usually tell people when they’ve hurt your feelings?
No, because nine times out of ten, they don’t care.

When was the last time you laughed?
I was listening to my Goth Party playlist on Spotify (of course I have a goth playlist, why do you ask?) while on my lunchtime walk, and “#1 Crush” by Garbage started playing. That’s not why I laughed. I laughed because I thought to myself, “This song has the most gothiest of gothy lyrics.” Those of you who know this song, you probably know which lines I was thinking of. For those who don’t, they are, “I would burn for you/Feel pain for you/I would twist the knife and bleed my aching heart/And tear it apart.”

Would you bang your neighbor?
It depends. The Meth MAGAs behind me? Not for all the money Jeff Bezos keeps pretending he doesn’t have, come tax time. The guys who live on the second floor? At least one of them, yes.

Your ex is on the side of the road on fire, what do you do?
Put out the fire. I have some scummy exes, but none who deserve to die, and especially not that way.

What did you do Thursday night?
Visited with my parents. My mom did get her job back, so yay, but she’d been running FR02 (I think? IT stuff) reports all day and didn’t feel like cooking, so I ordered some Chinese food for her, my stepdad, and myself (China Bistro in Avon is open again, so hooray! They seriously have the best Chinese food I’ve ever tasted, besides Chinatown in Boston) and brought it over for her.

Are you anything like you were at this point last year?
Thankfully, I am way less stressed now than I was this time last year. Leaving IUPUI and finding out that I actually don’t have to mention them on any other college applications in the future feels like having about ten elephants’ worth of weight lifted off my shoulders.

Are you liking how you look today?
Eh. I’m okay with it. I haven’t been tempted to put on a ton of makeup, at least.

When will you next go on a plane?
When I go to visit my aunt and uncle in Florida, but who knows when that will be. Or, if I get any of the federal government jobs I applied for (civilian pay tech with the VA, communications officer with the Air Force (yeah, I’m not sure why that’s open to civilians, but it is)), at least one of which will require me to relocate if I get it.

When did you last go on a plane?
December 2016, flying from Indianapolis to Vermont.

Were you single on your last birthday?
Yup. Probably will be on my next birthday, too. Damn dat rona.

What was the last movie you watched?
Spaceballs. “I knew it, I’m surrounded by assholes. Keep firing, assholes!

Do you have a reason to smile right now?
Of course. I just don’t feel like smiling, and if you have a problem with that, Survey, you can sit your sexist ass down.

Who is the last person on your received calls list?
Spam Risk.

Do you talk a lot?
To myself, yes. Especially when I’m driving, which kind of worries me, since I installed a bluetooth mic right after I bought it, so now I’m always vaguely paranoid that whatever I say is being monitored somewhere. (Yeah, I know it’s really not, but still.)

Is it okay to kiss people when you’re single?
Not right now, it isn’t. There’s a pandemic happening!

You’re locked in a room with the person you last kissed, any problems?
Not if he shuts up and fucks me, like I know he wants to. (It’s Mark; I’m locked in a room with Mark.)

Do you like competition?
Not really. I compete with myself, which gives me enough anxiety.

Are your nails painted?
Not now, but I really should start painting them again.

Last song played more than three times?


Yeah, yeah, I know. I don’t like this song. But it’s just so damn catchy.

Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?
Very well. We’d just got off work and were going to watch Fight Club on his bed. I don’t remember exactly how far into it we got, but I know it wasn’t far.

What’s on your bedroom floor?
Way too much for someone turning 32 in a few months.

Have you held hands with anybody in the past week?
Nope.

Do you want any tattoos?
Several, and I’ve considered getting the one I have partly covered. Not even sorry, but JK Rowling really crossed every line. I’m wondering if I can get a bouquet of tiger lilies, wrapped with the purple ribbon I incorporated into the original design.

Do you wish that you were somewhere else right now?
Yeah. Wanderlust got us all like that.

Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is okay?
Yes.

Are you okay with making a total fool of yourself?
Depends on the situation, but generally not.

Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s clothing?
Yes; namely, hoodies and boxers (clean, over my own skivvies).

Do you know anyone who would just drop everything to come see you?
Mark would, pre-corona.

Next event you’ll wear a dress to?
Who knows.

Last three texts on your phone are from?
Old National Bank, the VPN I have to connect to for my job, and a Yahoo verification code.

What are your plans for Sunday?
Depending on how much I make on Saturday night: Going to the Fashion Mall at Keystone, getting a few Ickle Baby Bot bath bombs from Lush for my niece’s birthday (she’ll be three on Monday), and sampling some of the perfumes I mentioned a few entries ago.

Do you think you need to take anger management classes?
No. I’m angry about a lot of things, but I think I handle it fairly well.

Do you think you are more of a good or bad influence?
…Well, I did tweet out that if anyone needed me, I’d be pouring cheap whiskey into my iced coffee and corrupting the youths by telling them that trans rights are human rights, feminism is awesome, wear a mask, and never do anal bareback, so…

If you jump, can you touch the ceiling of the room you’re in?
Nope: Can’t jump that high, and even if I could, I’m too short.

Do you know how to dance a waltz?
Kind of, but I lack things like “grace” and “coordination.”

How many different colors are you wearing right now?
Three, I think. Black jeans and tee shirt, blue underwear, and white socks.

Yes or no: Coffee Ice cream?
…You know, maybe I’ll skip the perfume and go to Handel’s for coffee ice cream.

Do you think there is anything scary about midnight?
Nope.

Would you rather be a hair stylist or a clothes designer?
Hair stylist, only because I’ve cut a few people’s hair before and not been punched when they saw the results.

What is something that always gets you mad?
Lord Dampnut, even before it was president. Fascism. Abusive people. Liars.

Would you ever stay overnight at any of your neighbors’ houses?
Only if I absolutely had to.

When was the last time you saw the person you have feelings for?
In February, before lockdown. He came down for a quickie.

Do you drink tea?
I am currently drinking iced tea.

Do you want to get married?
Maybe. I don’t know. It’s never been high on my list of life priorities, honestly.


Starhawk July 25, 2020

If you're going back in time after Trump, go earlier than 2016 unless you think you can beat the Secret Service...

Good to know China Bistro is back open. That's about as good as it gets in the western burbs for Chinese.

Pretend Mulling Starhawk ⋅ July 25, 2020

Good point about the Secret Service.

If China Bistro ever closed for good, my heart would absolutely break.

Starhawk Pretend Mulling ⋅ July 25, 2020

Should you feel like driving just a smidge further west, Bangkok Kitchen is an absolute winner for Thai.

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