Growth and Gratitude in Staying Connected

  • June 22, 2020, 5:13 p.m.
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  • Public

Father’s Day was good! My father-in-law seemed to like the putting green we got him, and my husband seemed to like the tabletop grill I got him. He’s excited to try grilling salmon and vegetables.

On our way over to my in-law’s house, I said to my husband, “I’m so glad we have two covered parking spaces. Can you imagine how terrible it would be loading up our baby in a car that has been sitting out in the sun?” He agreed and then I went on. “I’m also glad that we have our own washer and dryer. Remember that condo in Bixby Knolls we were looking at? I don’t think it had covered parking or a washer and dryer. That’s why it was a deal breaker for me.”

I went on to explain that sometimes I fantasize about how our life would be if we had chosen to live there instead of where we are, because Bixby Knolls is a notoriously nice neighborhood. We probably would have fewer run-ins with looney neighbors and homeless people and it would be way easier to walk out the front door and go for a pleasant stroll around the block. BUT I think having to park on the street and to go to a laundromat to wash would have been a source of frustration for me on a regular basis. There is a REASON we chose this condo over that one. I just think it’s important not to lose focus of that.

I think it’s been nearly a month that we’ve been all driving over to my in-law’s neighborhood in the morning three days per week and in the evening once per week in order to go for a walk, and it’s been working out well. I continue to feel really good about my working out, eating right, and drinking less.

I ordered myself two new pairs of shorts off Amazon today, which, aside from a couple of work shirts from the thrift store, has been my only clothing purchase in over a year. The last thing I bought myself was some button up work shirts and a couple pairs of work pants after I had my baby (who is nearly 18 months old now). My casual clothes are so old and so few, it’s really hard to look nice for an event anymore. Not to mention, I don’t own one pair of shorts that fit me. My choices for bottoms are pajamas or one pair of jeans that barely fit. Needless to say, I’m looking forward to these shorts arriving in the mail.

I had to order a size 13, which is, for me, something I’m still working on wrapping my mind around. I was a size 1 for most of high school and for the first half of my twenties, and it was tough to accept when I moved up to a size 3. During grad school, I think I graduated to about a size 5. I always thought size 13 was for people who had a completely different body shape than mine. I’m just a little dumbfounded.

I also ordered a corset. I had ordered one already, but it was too big and I returned it today.

Hopefully if I continue down the path I’m on, my body will transform back into one I’m comfortable with. I would have no problem with the size of pants I wear if when I looked in the mirror I felt good about myself. I don’t hate myself now. It’s more just that I’m lacking the confidence that I want.

I also bought a couple new plants today. One is a hanging plant for outside and one is for a small vase my husband got me for Mother’s Day. If it were up to me, there would be way more plants in our condo. This may be something I work on in the coming months.

When I get my next paycheck next Monday, I am going to order the roller shades and, once those are up, we’re moving the tree outside. I know I’ve mentioned this repeatedly, but it’s something I’m really looking forward to.

Next Monday is also the day that I asked my husband if he could watch our daughter for the day so could clean. He asked me what I want to do, since he already cleaned the floors for me, and I said I want to dust the furniture and wipe down the appliances and floorboards. He said, “Okay, but don’t be surprised if that magically gets done before Monday.” He said that cleaning on Saturday while I’m working went really well last week, and he might make a thing out of it. I don’t want to get my hopes up, but I’m so giddy by the thought of this. It’s hard to contain.

Next on the agenda today is to eat a spinach salad and transplant my new plants into their respective pots. Depending on how long my daughter naps, I’ll likely load the dishwasher as well. Thrilling, I know.

Until next time <3

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