Life throws you curves in My Thoughts

Talk about a fucked up week. It is hard to express the feelings I have now to someone who is unfamiliar with my life. I had a seizure for the first time in 6 years this week. My body and mind was totally unprepared for this to happen. I realize that I don't drive or have a licence but it was always nice knowing in the back of my head that if I wanted to get one I could. Now that has been ripped away from me leaving me feeling like a have a hole that I don't know how to fill. I realize that I have a strong group of people behind me to help me with all I need but it is not the same and I don't think that anyone who has not experienced it can truly understand the feelings it invokes. To be trapped and have to rely on others to go anywhere is a big thing. You would not think so but it is. To not be able to just get up off the couch and say "I am going to run to the store, I'll be right back" without having to ask someone to take me is a feeling that I can not even begin to describe.

The event also woke up another part of me, the part that says you need to stop making up excuses for eating and get back on task. This is day 3 and I have not wavered. I hope that by the time the auction comes around I will be able to fit into a sexy outfit and drive the people crazy.