30 Day Song Challenge, Day 9 + Drunk Survey-ing Strikes Back in The Real Pretend Mulling

  • April 26, 2020, 6:05 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

Basically anything by Randy Rainbow makes me happy. He is the hero we need.

Drunk Survey-ing is back! And just like last time, I’m starting it on my third vodka-cranapple. Unlike last time, I am not waiting for my laundry to finish, but rather watching a play-through of Super Mario 64 and hoping that next weekend brings me enough money to buy an N64 and this game, and also Goldeneye, because I miss them.

Oh yeah, and how about some drunk selfies?

  1. What’s the last NON-SURVEY RELATED thing you typed?
    A few emails for work.

  2. What’s your favorite thing about spring?
    Honestly, when it’s over. Spring makes my allergies go bugfuck.

  3. How hot does the temperature get in the summer where you live?
    Over 100 degrees, often with humidity in excess of 80%. But I’ve been in North Carolina in summer, on a day that was 95 degrees with 95% humidity. I felt like I was a pot roast and the entire state was a slow cooker.

  4. Are you wearing jeans right now?
    I am, as a matter of fact. I haven’t changed out of my pizza delivery clothes. I might do that in a moment.

  5. Are you currently in a complicated situation with someone?
    I never know if Mark and I are in a relationship or not.

  6. When was the last time you were really grossed out?
    Oh, I have no idea. It’s not that I don’t get grossed out, it’s that I don’t tend to hold onto it.

  7. Will this weekend be eventful for you?
    Prolly not.

  8. What was the last thing to make you laugh?
    Something I thought of earlier today. There is a clip from The Graham Norton Show, from about three years ago, where Sir Patrick Stewart apparently learned, at age 77, that he is not circumcised. Which got me to thinking about how weird it must be, to be a doctor who treats really famous people. The only exception to that idea are gynecologists, which is where the part that made me laugh came up: My brain spit out the following idea: “Going to a gynecologist involves sacrificing part of your dignity, in the form of scooting your ass nearly off the edge of the exam table, with your legs in stirrups, just so a doctor can stick a cold speculum, and their slightly-less cold hands, in your bitch canal and tell you if it’s healthy.”

  9. Was the last hoodie you wore too big for you?
    The one I’m wearing now (and yes, I changed out of my jeans) is the right size. My calavera sweatshirt, however, was a 3XL when I bought it, which is way too big. It shrunk after being washed, but it’s still pretty big on me.

  10. Did it belong to someone else?

  11. Have you ever worn a belly shirt in public?
    No, I don’t have that amount of confidence.

  12. Have you taken any pain pills today?
    No, which reminds me, I’m out of ibuprofen.

  13. Are you waiting for someone to text you back?
    Eh. Kind of. Maybe. Iunno.

  14. Where is your significant other?
    I don’t have a significant other.

  15. How easily do you trust the opposite sex?
    Trust is dependent on the individual. That said, isn’t it fucked up that, if you’re a cis woman, you were told that men aren’t trustworthy from the time you were a little girl, and then when you, as an adult and maybe having experienced some of those things you were warned that men do, say “men are trash,” you’re suddenly a frigid bitch queen who needs to relax and maybe catch a dick?

  16. Did your birthday come yet this year?
    Nope, my birthday is in November.

  17. Have you ever taken Ambien to fall asleep?
    No, but if Patton Oswalt is to be believed, it’s something I might want to experience.

  18. Who was the last jerk you talked to?

  19. Did your last ex try to get back together with you after the break-up?

  20. Is your pet currently being annoying?
    Unfortunately my Smudge isn’t with me at the moment, but according to my mother, he and Rex (her and my stepdad’s alpha cat) are now bros, having spent the last week fighting. Which is to say, Smudge kept trying to fight Rex, but Rex, being both the alpha and twelve years old, just gave Smudge a look that made Smudge slink away every time.

  21. Do you know someone who has 6 or more siblings?
    My stepdad has seven siblings. Eight, if you count his parents’ oldest, who died from SIDS in 1957.

  22. Do you own a snuggie?
    No, but I own CuddleWrap, which is basically the same thing, but with buttons and a zipper. I’ve had it since 2002, and mine’s plaid.

  23. Do you know what the weather will be like tomorrow?
    According to WTForecast, it’s supposed to be 60 and cloudy.

  24. Have you gone swimming in an outdoor pool at all this year?
    Nope, it’s been too cold, and then COVID.

  1. Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medications for it?
    Once in a while, and no. I’m not anxious often enough for it to be a disorder.

  2. Who was the last person you felt you were wasting your time on?
    Mark. Which has never stopped me before and probably won’t stop me this time.

  3. One thing you’ve experienced that you thought you never would have?
    Honestly, I never thought I’d experience a pandemic. Or at least, I never thought I’d experience a pandemic that was as badly-handled as this one has been. And I’m talking on my country’s end; a lot of other countries have been absolutely on top of things. My country, however, is being run by a moron with either end-stage syphilis or mid-stage Alzheimer’s disease, and we are so not okay, in any sense of the word.

  4. What was the last thing someone said to you that kept repeating over & over in your head?
    My BFF sent me a link from TMZ that stated Kim Jong-Un had died. The only other sources I could find with the same claim were Fox News and the New York Post, neither of which are reputable, so who knows. North Korea’s press isn’t going to be parading his death, if he’s actually dead.

  5. If a random person were to look through the photos on your phone, is there anything you’d be embarrassed about?
    Nope, I have all my nudes under lock and key.

  6. How often do you have late nights out?
    Considering that I’m an essential worker on the weekends (pizza delivery), often.

  7. Do you currently have any mixed feelings about someone?
    Not really.

  8. What band/singer took your concert virginity?
    Green Day in 2005.

  9. If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive?
    I’ve been working from home since March 27th. Considering that my job is the type where you either have a shit-ton of things to do, or nothing, I think I’ve been fairly productive.

  10. What were you like in middle school?
    A little shit, probably. It’s been my experience, as an adult, that middle schoolers are psychopaths. I mean, I get it; they’re all going through puberty, so they’re just angry and horny all the time, but even considering that, I’ve yet to meet a twelve-year-old that isn’t a little psychopath.

  11. If you could give one charity a million dollars, what charity would you donate money to?
    Planned Parenthood. Too many legislators are using the pandemic as an excuse to pass anti-abortion bills, and Planned Parenthood needs all the help it can get. It ain’t just an abortion clinic, people.

  12. Would you ever donate blood?
    Sure. I’d need to know what blood type I have, though.

  13. Have you ever had to stay in the hospital?
    Once or twice.

  14. If you had the ability to change the weather, what would you change it to right now?
    Stormy. Thunderstorms put me to sleep.

  15. Which do you think is harder: realizing you haven’t changed, or realizing you have?
    Both take some adjusting-to.

  16. Is there something that you really need to do, but can seem to get motivated to do it?
    There are literally a million things that fall under this umbrella, honestly.

  17. Have you ever won some sort of prize or prize package from a contest? What did you win?
    Not that I can recall.

  18. What is something you’re surprised hasn’t been invented yet?
    Affordable electric cars. How come most of them cost over $50,000?

  19. Most disturbing movie you have ever seen?
    The Human Centipede. Mark made me watch it. I refused to have sex with him until he apologized.

  20. Has a life goal or dream ever come true for you yet? If yes, what is it? If no, do you think you’ll achieve it?
    Who the fuck knows.

  21. What one thing has always bothered you, but seems to bother no one else?
    The fact that animation is seen as exclusively a kid’s medium.

  22. How would you describe your sense of humor? Give an example of something you find funny, and something you don’t.
    All over the place.

  23. What little, everyday things make you happy?
    People being considerate and polite.

  24. Do you still own a VCR and VHS tapes?
    No. I have a Blu-ray playernd Blu-rays and DVDs, which are about equally outdated.

All right, lovelies, I’m working on my fourth vodka-cranapple and I’m also working on chips and salsa. I’ll see you on the flipside.

Last updated April 28, 2020

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