Quick update in 2020

  • April 2, 2020, 8:45 a.m.
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  • Public

I feel like it’s been a while. Oh. I remember what I wrote about last (so it hasn’t been a while. Lol).

To touch on that subject a little bit- the whole Andy’s daughter having a bedtime at my house thing.

His daughter is 8. And the whole sex thing- yeah. I don’t get that. The girl sleeps like a rock. She fell asleep on the couch one night and he was shaking her to wake up and she wouldn’t. He was talking to her- nothing. He picked her up and carried her to bed - didn’t wake up. I’m sure if we had quiet quick fun time - it wouldn’t be a big deal. Like some of you said- I want babies. What happens then? We never have sex? Lol. No. But this is where I feel like things would be different if I had a bigger house. Our rooms are right across from each other. Like I said- she’s asleep and we could be quiet but okay. Fine.

I don’t know if her mom lets her stay up late on weekends. She said before she still goes to bed around 9:30 but I know sometimes her mom hangs with her sister (and her daughter) so it’s later nights.

I know it’s a lot. She has accepted me and her dad being with me SO GREATLY. There hasn’t been any issue. Normally if we’re playing a game on the TV or something, she usually wants to play with me, not her dad so I know she likes me.
But yes… being bounced around from house to house is a lot for a kid. I understand that. But the girl is needy. She has to be like touching someone NONSTOP. If Andy is sitting on the couch and I’m next to him - if there’s any sort of 1’ gap, she’ll want to sit in it. There’s no space. We were all mushed up on one end of my sectional couch so I moved to get space and she came and sat next to me so she was leaning up against me. And it’s GAMES NONSTOP. Lets play this and right after we play something, “I wish we could do something together” - like we haven’t been doing something together all day long.

So sometimes, I just need a break.
And I feel like a terrible person saying that.
I’m not asking him not to ever bring her over. Of course not. She’s always welcomed. But all I’m asking if for her to go to bed like ONE HOUR before we do so I can actually talk to him. Be kid free. Do whatever adults do when kids are around. Sit down on the couch without someone touching me. Just an hour!

And we did talk about it and he agrees. We will see how it is next time she’s over. I explained to him that it’s not about me not wanting to spend time with his kid. It’s just me needing a little sanity time.

So all is well on that front. I think.
But with this whole Corona-virus thing. I honestly I don’t even think it’s a great idea for her to be over AT ALL. I only say that for the safety of his parents. He is like, “She’s my daughter, I can’t not have her…” but… we both are still working. We both see other people on a daily basis. She comes by us then goes to his parents during the week and they both have health issues. But then he says, “It doesn’t matter because (her mom) is still working too” - which is true. But I don’t think she has as much interaction with people as us.

It’s been actually pretty stressful. The move is.............. complete? Complete in the sense that we’re in the new building. We’re living out of boxes though. My desk came- broken. Ordered a replacement- broken. Construction guys have to finish our executive (mine) bathroom. We have a TV for the conference room- broken. I’m getting new filing cabinets- not here yet. Doors needing installed- not done yet. We have a badge system for getting into certain areas- not installed yet. So it’s a work in progress.

BUT I know I was just complaining about how we’re not “essential”.
Apparently we are. I didn’t even think about it really but we’ve received SO MANY NEW ORDERS now for our parts- to help with face shields and ventilators. We got an email from the CEO of GM thanking us… for our part in their ventilator program.

So … I guess I’m accepting working more these days being we’re actually helping people.

My one year was yesterday. I came in and the warehouse guys had a plant on my desk. SO NICE. I kept telling them I wanted plants for my new office that has windows!

I also got a raise :)
I’m officially making the most I ever made at a job. Lol.

I feel like there’s slowly a light at the end of tunnel.
I see it a little bit. I’m ALMOST done paying off a large loan then that’s an extra $500 A MONTH I’ll have. Plus Andy is paying me now so I feel like my terrible money situation will eventually get better. I feel like we need to figure out a better system for it though. I’m paying 80% of the groceries and I feel like it’s a bit unfair because he usually eats twice a day and I eat once. Yeah, I make more than him but still. If I was only feeding myself- the cost would be HUNDREDS of dollars less a month. We’ll figure it out eventually. I kind of hate asking for more money though because I feel like I shouldn’t HAVE to ask. He should kind of figure it out. And I have mentioned it before how I spend so much at grocery stores.

I also just want him to get out of his financial obligations with his ex. This bothers me so much more than I care to admit. They own a condo together. He paid down $14,000 on it. She paid down $1,000. She still lives in it. He pays the dues and taxes, she pays the mortgage. Sometimes she’s even late on that. The mortgage payment is $300.
She said she’s looking for apartment come Spring. How is she going to afford an apartment when she can’t even afford $300 mortgage payment.

I don’t know what’s going to happen. I want him to sell. I know she’s not going to be able to afford anything else so who knows if it’ll happen. He said then at that point, he’ll take her off the mortgage- own it himself then charge her rent but it would be more than $300 and she still won’t be able to afford that??

I understand that he has a financial obligatory as in THEIR DAUGHTER for the next 10 years.... but it doesn’t mean that he has to pay half of her rent (the dues are more than the mortgage) . It annoys me. He says he can’t trust her to pay it. He says he does it for the kid (but hi… that’s what the child support is for?).

Just sell the condo. Up the child support if you need (even though he pays more than what would be court ordered plus all of her medical expenses/school expenses/insurance).

I don’t care about him taking care of his daughter needs. I LOVE that.
Just sell the condo. Stop paying for half of your ex’s rent. THAT’S what I care about. I sometimes feel terrible taking his money and he LIVES IN MY HOUSE. She just expects it.

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