In December I was having so many emotions regarding this situation we are in. Today, I can breathe. The day we have been waiting for since May has come and gone. The preliminary hearing went really well! I’m satisfied with the outcome. Now we wait for superior court. But I will address the events leading up to it, below.
We were facing the likely possibility of my minor child being forced to testify in the presence of her abuser. Everyone who matters seemed to agree this was wrong and shouldn’t happen. I was being told that it’s impossible to attain CCTV equipment because its “all been loaned out”. Okay, sure. So I started digging. Started contacting state representatives and senators. I got in contact with other attorneys for input and additional information. I couldn’t be advised, of course…but they shared their thoughts with me. I found that it depends in that particular state allows the use of cctv for victims in court, especially minors, but it also applies to adults in certain circumstances. My state is listed amongst 40-some others. There are very few states who cannot accommodate those provisions. So next I started researching cctv use for victims and found Craigs Rule. It was a supreme court ruling that victims have the right to use cctv testimony to prevent detrimental damage and stress, causing the victim to not be able to testify all-together, beyond what is considered “normal”. But a evidentiary hearing is required - therapist, attorney, and judge go over reasons and the judge determines whether or not it will be granted. And then I found that if it is denied, that during the testimony, a motion may be filed to reconsider....and can also be motioned even if it was never filed prior to testimony. So I brought all this up to our prosecutor. I also asked her if we could utilize outside sources for cctv if I could find someone with equipment and can run/set it up. She said “I don’t see why not” - CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! Next I started reaching out to people I know. Within 24 hours my good friend from childhood sent me a message and her husband runs cctv equipment at their church and wanted to help us!! I called our prosecutor the next morning. She called me back the next day and said she has to get it cleared with the judge. Then within 48 hours they happened to secure some cctv equipment from the local DSS. Problem diverted! Go me! One of two things happened…a certain congressional Senator who shall remain nameless, who is known to “make phone calls,” likely called and made this happen…or…I proved that this mama bear won’t back down and didn’t expect me to find equipment so quickly and that they should probably get their asses in check and worked a little harder. This gave me some breathing room and a LOT of relief. I cried with joy. My sweet baby wouldn’t have to face him to testify!
So another point related to the above, was the opportunity to completely by-pass this stupid preliminary hearing. As a reminder, all it is, is a hearing to determine if theres enough evidence to bind over to superior court, since it is a juvenile hearing. The motion was filed since the defendant is over age 13 and in our state 13+ can be charged as an adult. So, to by-pass this hearing, the defendant and their attorney must accept and sign a waiver. They have been denying it all along. Until the morning of the hearing, suddenly, within 24 hours of the court securing cctv equipment. Coincidence? I think not. I was doing some thinking about this. We knew a lot hinged on my daughters ability to be cross examined. If she doesn’t speak, we don’t have a case. So the defense knows this. Their job isn’t to have a soft heart. Their job is to win, by any legal means necessary. I wonder if they were betting on my daughter’s nervousness (her abuser knows her struggles with speaking to people, which is why he probably never expected to be caught) to get the bind over hearing crushed so it stays in juvenile court - Reminder: juvenile detention only holds until age 21, at which point they’re released with a clean record - but once cctv was involved they knew there was a better chance that my daughter would be able to speak and if she did, then it would be obvious there’s enough evidence. Basically rendering their efforts worthless. But long story short, they waived it in court that morning!
My husband had to hear a certain detail outlined by our prosecutor during her “brief explanation of evidence”. I really really am proud of him for not jumping off that bench to get his hands on his son. He really really had a hard time with that information. I can’t speak of the evidence here as it’s still a juvenile case. But I’ve come to the point where I can detach from it. Coping.
You know…those of you who followed me on OD know the history here…ya’ll know the crap we had to deal with. Husband son is difficult…doesn’t really give a shit about common sense stuff. Lacks common sense. All of it. Too stupid to come in out of the rain. But he’s not, like, mentally incapable. He’s just a dumbass. So the judge is addressing him…asks for his address…the place he’s been living for well over a year now…and he says, “I don’t know my address.” And all we could do is withhold our urge to laugh. Because…you see…its just so typical. Of course he doesn’t know his address. The only reason he knew ours, is because we made him learn it for safety reasons. He has no one holding him accountable anymore, which is what he wants. I mean, it does get really exhausting constantly reminding a capable person to just be, ya know…responsible. If no one forces him, he won’t do it, period. Every aspect of his daily life. Just LAZY in every way. He’s almost 19…and doesn’t know his address.
I called my mother in law. She’s been cut out for quite a while, now. My stupid emotions lead my actions and I don’t feel bad about it, really. Just kinda vulnerable. I just shouldn’t have told her my side of things. But the alternative was continually struggling with how they think of me, since they blame me. Hubs is gonna be PISSED. But whatever. I feel like someone on that side of the truth should hear the truth. Whats done is done. Her problem is her husband. Without the “wizard behind the curtain”, she’d be able to believe and say and do what she wants without his NPD abusive ass controlling her. I see a lot of people over use the term “narcissist” and it grates my nerves. But my friends, my father-in-law is a true, textbook, narcissist with NPD. He is horrible. My MIL had me on speaker phone because she has hearing aids and it’s easier to hear me. Didn’t know this. Twice this asshole starts cussing up a storm at me in the background. Pretty typical. His explosive behavior is actually pretty funny…he’s just so irate…but is just all bark and no bite, really. He aims to hurt your feelings, but knowing how he is, it just doesn’t. I have even purposely got his feathers ruffled over political crap because he just cannot take being disagreed with. He’s a over grown toddler. The second time was over something she told me he said to her once. And for the life of me can’t remember what that was. It went POOF. Anyways, it was considered gas lighting and I said, “He’s gas lighting you” and you guys…OMG…he went OFF - I hear, “SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID FUCKING FAT BITCH....” and a steam of other shit I couldn’t make out. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I said “I’m not fat anymore, actually, but okay…” :D He kept going on and on “SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LYING FAT BITCH” and other variations of every cuss word he could use with “liar” “bitch” and “fat” - first off, bitch is no longer an insult to me. Second, ya just making yourself look stupid. I guess Mr NPD didn’t want to hear that he’s being an asshole :D He yelled out that I only called her to “WASH MY CONSCIENCE” and that I just “want something” since I “decided when it was ok to talk again” and I “must feel guilty or else I wouldn’t call”. He said, “YOU’RE JUST FEELING GUILTY BECAUSE YOU DROPPED THE BALL ON C*** AND NOW YOU WANT TO SAVE FACE” - nah dude, nah…your grandson fucked up and you’re sympathizing with a pedophile. The thing that I find contradicting is my MIL says FIL has been “researching” to find any links to inheriting pedophilia tendencies from other family. His grand father (maternal) has several convictions of molesting and sodomizing minor females. If he didn’t believe it might be true, why is he looking up info about it?
ANYWAYS....thats it folks…not much else going on over here…OH! Yes…I’ll be doing a figure competition in September 2020! Yay!
Last updated February 08, 2020